When You're In My Heart, You're In My Family

Can't talk, parents and brother will be here in 4 hours. House a mess, laundry incomplete, weather horrible. Must go drink tequila shots immediately.

Also, if you ever question spending $573,278.04 on a ticket for a toddler to see something like Nickleodeon's Storytime Live - DO IT. I don't have words to describe what my heart did when I watched Jenny's face during that damn stupid show. Also, I cried. No, seriously, it was so overwhelming to make a little girl THAT HAPPY that I had tears in my eyes, and Cousin J made fun of me (with good reason).

So our next big adventure is the impending visit and all the fun/excitement that brings, then the big 2nd Birthday Celebration, then I have to go to Boston for work (blergh), and then it's Memorial Day Weekend (undecided), then - CAMPING! With a TODDLER! I know, right?! And that will bring us to mid-June, when we head up to Canada. Two days in a car. With a toddler. Yes, I make all the sensible choices.

Lots more pics and fun stories to follow soon.

Status Update: Jellybean Mama would like more time to blog

You know, I'm not positive, but I'm pretty sure hummingbird food isn't the best thing for the rosemary plant...

Once again I had some really stellar ideas for blog posts as I lay in bed awake at 11ish last night, but managed to have them chased away by a nighttime visitor. Who shows up at midnight and hangs around until almost 2am?! And what did I get in return for my graciousness (changed a soaked diaper), politeness (pretended not to notice when I was kicked in the ribs and ear repeatedly) and calm demeanor? (managed not to scream 'A-hole!' when I finally tossed her back into her own bed). Nothing. Nothing except a grumpy kid who didn't want to wear anything with polka dots on it and somehow managed to smear 75 cups of peanut butter everywhere when I'd only put a mere suggestion of it on a toasted bagel.

Jelly. Dude. Seriously. I understand that the pollen is making you crazy, because it's making me crazy also. However, YOU. MUST. DEAL. Mama is having a very difficult and stressful time at work right now. Being able to function, at least at the level of a slack-jawed yokel, is necessary. I cannot take sick/nap time right now. While I understand your ploy to be served quick 'n easy Totino's pizza every night is working out in your favor, it is adding extra guilt to my overloaded stress plate. I had another trying-to-sell-the-house/moving dream last night, where I was living with the guys again. Urk. My poor little brain is just banging on the walls trying to get out.

Happily, I am going to have the house cleaned PROFESSIONALLY again tomorrow in advance of my parent's impending arrival Monday (yay!). Sadly, The Ta has to go out of town again the week I'm in Boston next, and the Most Awesome Caregiver has plans, so I'm scrambling to find someone to keep the Bean for a night. (boo!). It's Raleigh Restaurant Week next week (yay!) but the weather is all crazy so I'm freaking out about the 2-year pics and, you know, that little party I'm having (boo!). Also, I lost a stupid library book. This is why we can't have nice things, Jelly! That, and you like to pour random items on the couch.

May in the Carolinas means Strawberry Season, so that's kind of awesome. Jelly and I went and did some berry picking for Mother's Day, which was lovely. I almost barfed from over-indulging in shortcake, but the homemade strawberry lemonade was H-E-A-V-E-N-L-Y.

This weekend is the big Triangle Mommies Yard Sale, my COOKING CLASS, and *finally* the Nickleodeon Storytime Live Dora Thingie Extravaganza. Finally. I am excited about ALL those things. And then my parents and brother arrive Monday! Huzzah!

I had to break down and get a new carseat for Short 'N Wide. The spare that our caregiver and The Ta share has been outgrown. After much deliberation I went with the Graco Nautilus 3-in-1, mostly because I don't want to have to buy another one, somewhat because I liked the style and colors, and largely because - CUP HOLDER! SWEET!! Uh, I mean, safety ratings and positive parent feedback. So I'll let you know what I think of that. I can tell you I already miss the velcro on the Britax straps, and the Graco has not even been put in the car yet.

Ohh, and we tried out the toddler pool. It's totally brilliant. I wore an Old Navy t-shirt and capris (Jenny insisted I get in with her, fully dressed). Jenny opted for a more au naturel look...

Jellyfish Season

Jennifer Jillian, aka Jellybean, aka Jellyfish
Likes: Candy, dogs, parties, spinning in circles, and long walks on the beach
Dislikes: Owls, robots, cats, having her diaper changed, and grilled chicken

You will all be very happy (and insanely jealous) to know that I finally grabbed my shoulders, shook myself a few times, and then sat myself down for a stern talking to. Well, not really, but I DID crawl out of the slump I was in and am feeling a little better this week, so that's something. I am pretty sure it had something to do with lack of sleep and work stress and JR's impending party and the weather all crashing down, none of which is resolved EXCEPT THE WEATHER!! Beautiful, sunny warm weather! Hello there! And I'm also pretty sure that a slump could happen again in a second, so I need to be wary. My new trick is to force myself to put things away all the way, so we'll see how longs that lasts.

The best part was - I had someone come clean my house! Yep, I admitted to myself that my home was disgusting and I was never, ever going to do the kind of cleaning it was crying out for, so I got a deal on Twongo (sign up for it if you aren't already using it, it's freaking awesome, although don't judge it by today's deal because well, usually the things are more real-world useful). A very nice woman spent four hours scrubbing toilets and wiping down appliances (she got the glass-top stove clean! ) and it cost me $50. WELL worth it. Did I mention I hadn't vacuumed the stairs the entire time I've lived here? 2+ years. Embarassing. But since I had someone coming to clean, that meant I had to pick things up a bit, which was just the motivation I needed. And since I was picking things up and finding lost mail and to-do lists, I figured I should go ahead and take care of some of that. So I called and got my home owner's insurance up-to-date (they randomly stopped doing the payroll deductions in February, and of course I had not opened that letter yet), ordered the party favors, put away every speck of clean clothing in the house INCLUDING the winter coats that were sitting on my bar stools, and packed for my next business trip.

Then, since I was feeling so freaking awesome, I scheduled to have someone come powerwash the house later today, got myself on a lawn care schedule to tame the (dande)lions, had a sleepover at The Ta's, and took Jelly to the lake TWO days. In a row. Sadly I had a minor setback when I had to endure almost 4 hours at the car dealership this morning rectifying a wee brake issue (apparently, it helps to have them) and got wildly extravagant with two beautiful new one-size-fits-the-Vibe tires, but I still feel like I can handle what life has to throw at me. This week, at least. Hey, it's the devil's arithmetic ladies - one day, plus one day, plus one day. We can do it!

So you know how sometimes, I try to cram too much into the weekend and come Monday morning, I’m exhausted and stressed? That was NOT this weekend. This weekend was glorious. I made the wise decision to NOT try to do too much on Saturday (go to the zoo AND the lake), and instead Jelly and I hit the beach. She loved it. Loved it, loved it, loved it. She could not stop talking about it when we got home - 'Water! Dig! Sand! Swim!'. So Sunday morning we got up and did it again. Except this time, I had picked up water wings. So. Freaking. Adorable. The kid is fearless in the water, and I guess had decided at the ripe ol' age of almost-two that it was high time she learned to swim. So she did. She threw herself in the armpit-deep water with wild abandon and started kicking and hollering. I tried not to have a thousand heart attacks or hover over her fluttering my hands nervously, and instead stood and yelled useful things like, 'Chin up! Close your freaking mouth! We don't eat sand! Flail your arms around more!'. She was a rockstar.

Where you goin', Jenny? 'De beach!'

Does this kid look happy or what?

The only downside - the 30-minute car nap instead of the 2-hour home nap.
After the lake we went to a friend's house for dinner and a movie - 'Religulous' and a cookout, which were both pretty great. I learned that our friend Jellybean abhors cats, to the point where she shrieked and ran in the other direction. If the cat had been an enormous, slobbering dog, Jelly would have embraced him with both arms. Definitely NOT a cat person. My friend has this gorgeous raised bed garden area (basically a house foundation, complete with little wood fence and steps) that I was very covetous of, that made me renew my vow to come up with a garden solution for the little grey house. The evening was lovely, and Jenny was dressed like a white-trash hillbilly, which made me dizzy with hilarity and cuteness.

You can't see it, but she's got a Care Bears tattoo on her right upper arm.

A toddler in a wife beater!! And camo pants! Why is this so funny to me?!

Happy May, Happy Monday, and may you all find incentive to get done what needs to get done.

Falling Through the Cracks

I really don't think it's a matter of too many balls in the air; honestly, in my case I think it's just plain ol' crappy time management. Sure, I work and have a Bean, but lots of people do that and manage to stay ahead of the game. Allow me to provide a breakdown of my basic problem; work stresses me out, and so I put stuff off. This of course only results in more stress, and then when I could/should be doing other stuff, I'm playing catch up. Or doing even more non-work stuff to reward myself for coping with all the stress that I've totally created for myself. I procrastinate with the housework too, putting things away halfway (like, the laundry makes it out of the dryer and into my bedroom, but somehow always ends up on the floor at the foot of my bed in a heap). I start projects and don't finish them (ahem, playroom). My freezer is filled with unappealing leftovers. I open my mail, then leave it in random places around the house; unpaid bills, angry letters about my unkempt lawn from my HOA, reminders to renew things, the extremely important paperwork for Jenny's first dental appointment.

I didn't use to be like this. I'm an organizer at heart, a project manager. I delight in list-making, the sense of accomplishment in a task completed. So what's the deal? Is it a lack of motivation? Depression? Lousy diet of Sour Cream & Onion chips and orange soda, therefore no energy or brain power? I dunno. But let me tell you, I just got off the phone with the entertainment for JR's 2nd Birthday Party Extravaganza, and I had totally forgotten to send the deposit. Therefore, they had cancelled the booking. Gulp. Luckily, the nice man on the phone either desperately needed my money or just did not want to hear me cry anymore, so the day has been saved. But really, as if?!

Yes, it's true that I am at this moment writing to my blog and all you lovely devoted readers instead of, well, working or emptying the dishwasher or making a nutritious lunch. And that just further proves my point; I should be calling the lawn guy, or picking up toys, or actually bathing for once (as Jenny's talking improves hourly I dread the day she calls me 'Stinky Mama'). I should be taking out the recycling, renewing our library books, scheduling haircuts. But it seems my get-up-and-go is gone. I've got no gumption. Can I blame the weather or the season or something? What the heck is up?! Can someone share their secret to motivating themselves, or at least tell me that I'm not the only one who just doesn't care about much right now?*

The only one in this house who has her shit together. The future's so bright, Jellybean has to wear shades. To make popcorn.

*That's obviously outside of the above adorable small person, who is now experimenting with 2-word sentences to document her every mood and action ('I awake!', 'Jenny help', 'Song Wheels?' - the above was a 'Me, cheese!' so that I would take her picture). And the playroom plan has backfired in a horrible way - not only does she not want to play in it by herself, she's so excited that she's waking up even earlier. Seriously, yo, this was not how this was suppose to go down.

Service With a (Forced) Smile

It’s been a really long time since I’ve been on client site – with responsibilities. The last few trips, I was there in a training or observational capacity, which meant I could stare out the window or text funny things to people, or draft blog posts. This trip I actually had to pay attention, and participate, and take good notes, and do some rather complex troubleshooting involving SSL certificates that was WAY over my head. Business travel is a pain, but for the single mother it usually means quiet, free expensive dinners with lots of drinks in places that have two waiters per table, lounging comfortably for hours in a room I don’t have to clean and a bed absolutely void of Fruit Loops, and sleeping in til the blissful hour of seven.

I’d forgotten that sometimes work travel is hard, that things go wrong, or at least don’t go right, and that sometimes you work your ass off for 12 hours straight in a cloyingly hot uncomfortable tiny room without even a break for lunch. I forgot the weariness that you feel eating an overpriced appetizer off the late-night menu in a crappy hotel restaurant long after the other diners have departed, the frustration and exhaustion where you just really don’t care anymore and want to lay down and close your eyes but you still have to do your regular day job before you can collapse in a fitful haze while tourists holler at each other into the wee hours in the hallways.


And man, did I ever miss that kid. The Ta had a rough week with the newly nicknamed ‘Terror Tot’, who learned to open the back door, made The Ta cook 18 different menus for her, fell off the bed, refused to go to sleep, and generally was a 1-yr 11-mo old. Yep, as of this week, just one more month til The Bean is two! And, she’s still a crazy person, in case you thought she might have suddenly regained a state of normalcy. There was also a dry diaper scare Wednesday when Jelly just would not pee despite guzzling several gallons of fluid; happily, she finally had some soakers, but sadly, one of them was when she was suppose to be blissfully asleep. It’s agonizing getting the text messages, both the worrisome ones AND the pictures of her happily playing, but I wouldn’t want it any other way. I’ve had to leave her enough now that I am able to hold it together, but it’s still a long few days.

And I have to travel again in a month. *sigh*
I was spoiled there for a while. Now it looks like at least four, maybe more, months in a row where I'm gone for a week. Luckily the next visit will overlap with the grandparents being here for her party, so she'll get to hang out with them for most of the week while I'm back at corporate. But this product release is killing me. Someone, please hurry up and find me a nice, tall, dark-haired nerdy baby daddy with a good job so I can stay home and eat bonbons.

Ever wonder what an $18 dirty martini looks like? DELICIOUS is what it looks like.

This is BEFORE the pool had an inch of water in it, and The Ta caught her outside throwing books into it.

Just make yourself at home, Jenny.

Ms. D takes her to Marbles

A Faire Day

Who’s a pretty, pretty princess?


(other than me)




Jellybean is a pretty, pretty princess!!

Last weekend was the local Renaissance Faire. I’d like to say it was lots of fun – but I have an almost-two-year old. So it was a beautiful day, and she looked f’ing adorable, and there was lots of cool stuff to see and do… but we were only there for an hour, and in that time she had no less than 7 temper tantrums. Some were mild, and some were the kind where she balled up her fists and threw herself on the ground and kicked and shrieked, and I looked around at people like, ‘Omg WHERE is this kid’s mother? Because SHE must be a TERRIBLE person!’. Yeah, I did the thing where you freeze up and just stare in total shock and bewilderment (something I swore I would never do), and I may have said, ‘Look, do you see any other little princesses laying on the ground screeching their little princess heads off?’ (yep, check that one off the list as well, and I HATE that one). She’s doing this thing where she suddenly wants to be carried all the time, and mama don’t play that. I don’t like lollipops in my hair, or earrings torn out of my lobes, or boogers smeared across the front of my shirt. Mostly I just can’t deal with hefting around what feels like a trillion pound sack of Jellybean goodness.

Some of the unhappiness is second-year molars (yay, teething!). Some of the unhappiness is toddler-itis. Some of it is waking-up-at-5:45-ism. Whatever it is, it’s a very exciting time. Those of you with babies – YOU HAVE IT EASY. Yes, it’s true that they have to be carried everywhere in those heavy carseats, and they spit up, and they have a nasty habit of waking up in the middle of the night. But they aren’t the fun sponges that toddlers are. It’s the lack of predictability that gets me – never knowing what to expect from their behavior, their appetite, their likes/dislikes, their wake-up time, the fact that one morning they wake up and SANDALS ARE EVIL! OMG how DARE you try to put an open-toed shoe on their foot! SHRRRIIEEEKKK!!!!!!

Have I stressed enough that they are totally crazy people?

No Fooling, Happy Easter

Can you guess what I got yesterday afternoon?



I'll give you a hint;




Nice picture, not blurry or weirdly lit - EASYSHARE!!!
Can you believe they got it to me before my trip?!!! I think I love you, random internet company that had it cheapest ($60!).

And that's the traditional Jellybean Mama Family Easter Cake. My mom made it, and now so will I. Except I gave it to our awesome caregiver and her family, since we are going out of town. And I made it pink. And I didn't put coconut on the whole thing, because lots of people don't like coconut. And also, Jenny and I ate the bowtie part. Hey, we deserved some cake, too.

I hope everyone has a nice Easter. If you're a single-trying, do something nice for yourself. Something that involves chocolate. Tell them I said so, because you deserve it. And if you're a single mama, enjoy playing bunny! And if you're a married mama, well, you're allowed to have fun and chocolate, too :-). Also, if you are single or married and don't have kids and don't want 'em, well, you're the smartest of all of us, so you can go out for a fancy dinner or drinks and spend lots of money and laugh about how crazy the rest of us are.