The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly

Work is bad. Bad, bad, bad. Like, have been late to get Jelly more than once this week alone. Can't sleep because of stress. Headaches. Stomachaches. Crying jags. There's a new product release coming out soon, and prominently featured is this new hot item that everyone's going to want. Except we didn't really do a great job on it. And we haven't finalized a lot of important details. And there's still a lot of really important info to validate, except we're doing a really terrible job at that process as well. Oh, and there are actually not one but TWO hot items in this situation that are managed by me. I've got another coworker helping me and I can't stay on top of it all. It means more conference calls, calls at lunch and calls when I'm suppose to be picking up Jenny. It means more travel (my manager said to expect 3-4 different trips in the next month or so), which means less Jenny. It means work in the evenings and work on the weekends, and thinking about work when I should be thinking of other things. Like making the correct mortgage payment, in a timely fashion. Like getting my grass cut. Like preparing for our next trip. Like constantly rearranging doctors appointments and dentist appointments because everything is a moving target. So, yeah. The house is dirty and Jelly is receiving inadequate care and I've gained more weight and I'm unfocused and tired and freaking out, all at the same time. All day long. So if anyone else there feels overwhelmed - me, too.

On a happier note, our camping trip was awesome. Jelly was a ROCKSTAR - the kid who loses her shit if she gets a microscopic piece of absolutely nothing on her, screaming 'MESS!!! MESSSSSS!!!!' and kicking and flailing wildly - putting up a tent in the pouring rain was fun. She had a blast. Soaked and filthy with no TV, the Bean had a terrific time. Tweetsie Railroad, on the other hand, was not such a big hit. Loud, hot, and crowded, Jellybean did NOT appreciate any of it. She did that toddler thing where you're walking along, holding her hand, and she suddenly goes limp and drops to her knees and refuses to walk. It was lots of fun. Over and over. However, since I am such a seasoned mother now that I've got two full years under my belt, I totally knew how to react. I abandoned all preconceived notions I had of getting cute pics of her on little rides, let go of the atrocious expense of the whole event, and left. After a measly two hours. I picked up Chick-Fil-A, which we ate on the beach blanket back at the campsite, then I took her to the pool. She was a very, very happy little girl.

Did I mention the campsite had goats? And a playground? And that she ate FOUR hot dogs, cooked on a stick over an open fire? And that I thought I would barf because I have zero self-control when it comes to toasted marshmallows. Mmm, delicious charred goo.

After drying out and returning all the borrowed gear I have decided that camping is going to be our new thing. Why not? We both slept great (albeit, like princesses - airbeds for both of us, although mine did not have 'Dora' on it). It was cheap (excluding the #@$% '20 Seconds With Thomas' ticket). There is a whole world of possibility now open to me in the campfire cooking line of products. I was relaxed, we were together, and we live in a freaking beautiful state. I can't wait.

Our little borrowed home-away-from-home. I was too tall for this tent.

The elusive yet sooooooo relaxing 'tent nap' (I got one, too!!). How cozy is this?!

There better be either coffee or Red Bull in this sippy cup, lady
Sooooo pretty in the morning. Camping adds 40 lbs., I've heard. To each of us.

And Then There Was Two

This morning was Jelly's 2-year checkup. Nothing makes me reminisce about the baby-she-once-was like going someplace like that, someplace we only see every few months. For example, I was reminded of how easy it was, a year or so ago, when she couldn't yet walk. This morning she wanted to dawdle in the pouring rain, screamed about her beloved boots, was terrified by the fish tank, did not like any of the books, and was traumatized by the whole having-to-sit-and-wait-without-your-clothes-on experience. Seriously, the girl was brave as ever through a finger prick and shot, but OH. MAH. GAWD. The horror and embarrassment of sitting in a diaper! It was hilarious, she's doing this heavy sighing thing lately (no idea where she gets THAT), and she did it a few times as the doctor tried bravely to make her look in her eye-looky-thingie. JR was having none of it. Totally exasperated by the kindly doctor's efforts (and also, totally making the kindly doctor crack up). I finally got out the Baby Be-Quieter, aka the iPhone, which amazed and astounded the doctor (she begged me to leave it for her). No surprise, the Bean is still at the top of or off the charts for her weight (36.6, which is almost exactly what I predicted), height, and big ol' fat head.

Something else cute she did for the first time, and a notable milestone that they don't have in any baby books - she anticipated a request. When we take a bath together in my big tub, I get out first and dry off and get my jammies on, then get her out. I never remember to let the water out, and who doesn't abhor sticking their arm in cold, dirty tub water later on? So twice in the past week I've asked her to pull the plug. Of course, it's not actually a plug, it's one of those attached drain thingies, so I've stumbled over the wording both times. Kind of like, 'Hey, Jelly, could you please pull the grab the turn the doolahickie to let the water out of the tub if you can?', which, surprisingly, she's understood and was able to do. Last night, same thing - I got out, toweled off, turned to her and said, 'Jelly, will you uhhhhhh...'. She didn't wait for me to finish - turned and did it. Then clapped for herself. I was like, 'Yeah, thanks, good work'.

She's all into two-word declaratives now as well - it's not just 'yes', it's 'yes please!'. Which is hilarious when you're asking, 'Is that Dora's backpack?' And not as polite but just as funny is the 'no way!' At some point I'm going to put my Good Mother hat back on and beat that out of her so that she says 'no thank you', but for now it cracks me up every single time. Yeah, I'm terrible. If she says it to you, and you are terribly affronted, I apologize now and blame myself.

Today I am telling myself I do not have another sinus infection despite all signs towards the affirmative, and will be picking up some drugs for Jellybean's double ear infection. Way to take her to the pool this weekend, Good Mother. I'm sure that helped TONS. Poor snotty little thing. Of course we both have a hacking cough so neither one of us is sleeping, which means I'm doing a lot of yelling 'JUST CALM DOWN!' while refusing to take my own advice, and she's doing a lot of very dramatic weeping, and absolutely nothing is done to her liking. Clothes, books, meals, DVDs - I always pick the wrong thing. I finally hollered, 'Look lady, I'm not your waitress!' at the pool yesterday, which I'm sure horrified all the other good parents steadfastly ignoring their kids.

On the plus side, I was feeling all sorry for myself because I was just so damn tired yesterday, when I realized - hey, it's still better than it was a year ago. Because a year ago, I remember that stretch of time after dinner but before bed as being incredibly tortuous - I would quite literally lay on the floor while she played, too exhausted to read or interact or even be upright. I haven't done that in a really, really long time. So while I may zone out when she's in the tub, at least she still gets a bath every night. And she's always full dressed and brushed and fed in the morning to go to Miss D's. The days when I don't have sleep are less frequent, as teething calms down (ugh, don't get me started on two-year molars though). So while I may make strangers burst into tears when I tell them that the newborn phase is NOT the hardest part, it's definitely a different kind of hard. It's frustrating, largely because it's so unpredictable, and it's nerve-wracking, because they understand so much more. But they make connections between things that blow you away, and exert their preferences and likes/dislikes, and start to sharpen their corporate skills (Jennifer has learned that sometimes she can wait until I'm distracted to ask me to do something for the second time, and chances are I'll say 'yes').

Don't get me wrong, two is still a gawd-awful age. I am hanging on for four. But do I long for the simpler baby days? No way.

Party of Two

O

M

G

That party. Was crazy.

The day started early, and the humidity was high. I was sweating before 8 am. The weather looked dismal, but I managed to keep my shit together when it started sprinkling at 9 am and ran out and threw a tarp over the massive pile of limp, damp canvas in my backyard. The caterer arrived and set up the tents, and I sent my February self a quick 'thank you' for getting those, because they were perfect. My mom, panicked as much as I was, started scrubbing the tray from the bottom of the toaster oven. I ran out to get ice, and shotgunned a Red Bull in the blissful quiet and A/C of my car, my mind racing with the logistics of what still had to be done and what I absolutely didn't want to forget.

Back at the Casa de Cumpleanos the first folks arrived a few minutes before 11, which was perfect, because I was sick of waiting, plus they were people I really, really like. We looked at the sky and decided we were going to hope for the best and up went the bounce house.

It was everything I dreamt it would be, and so much more. And so freaking cool! The thing went up in 3 minutes, was nowhere near as loud as I expected it would be, and was massive. The company I rented it from dropped it off the previous evening, and I wanted to sleep in it. Really, how great would that be?!!!

The totally fantastic cake, designed by my friend and TM'er over at A Sweetshop Named Desire, arrived.
Jenny wanted 'Blue, blue!'. Can you see the details on this thing?! Little flip-flops! PRECIOUS!!
More people arrived and enjoyed the selection of salty snacks. They were also pleasantly surprised by the Canadian beer selection. Hey, it was my party, after all. Jellybean parked in front of the Cheese Doodles and couldn't be budged. Until...

BOOTS!!
The sun peeked through the clouds, and we had a rain-free party!

For those of you cloistered or otherwise totally child-free, Boots the Monkey is Dora the Explorer's bestest buddy. Some of the kids were a little unsure, some lost their minds with excitement, and some ran and hid in the bounce house. Jelly wasn't too sure about him at first, but definitely warmed up...

And was very sad to see him go.
The multi-talented performer came back and did face-painting and made balloon animals, err, creations (I'd never seen a balloon water gun before, but she did it, and made some very happy little boys swords).

The timing of everything was perfect. As a PM I tend to be a little, uh, aware of how things flow and what everyone should be doing and all those good things. The caterers arrived with the food right on schedule, and man, was there a lot of it. After lunch I enlisted Jenny's fan D. to run the cotton candy machine, since I found the whole thing kind of sketch and knew I'd manage to somehow set fire to my house if I was allowed to actually touch it.

SUCCESS!! D. is now a certified carnie.

My friend S. took some BEAUTIFUL pictures of Princess von FattyBottom.

I fulfilled a lifelong dream and stuck my whole hand straight in. I feel it was very environmental of me, since I didn't use a paper cone, right?
Hey, I considered sticking my face in, so this was much more sanitary. At least one kid had to have a sink bath, so I consider the whole thing to have been a major win.

I had a lot of fun. I had so much fun I almost forgot to cut that beautiful cake! Seriously, I was like, 'Holy crap, it's 1 o'clock, I need to focus'. Jelly, like all toddlers, hid under the table and cried while we sang Happy Birthday, and I finally just stripped off her clothes and fed her cake until she begged to go play.

So, for something that could've gone wrong in a million different directions - everything was great. Not perfect, because there were a few hitches that I won't whine about here. But darn near. Most importantly, Jelly and her friends had fun, a few of my friends who I adore and who love and support us had fun, and some of my family could be here to share our day.

And if you think THESE pics are great - I got her 2-year photos done Friday morning. Here's the sneak pic Shannon at Lifelong Impresssions teased me with. Man, these are going to be so freaking awesome, you have no idea. She worked her tail off to get the best of Jelly. I can't WAIT!

I hope you had a Happy 2nd Birthday, Jellybean girl. I love you!

Now mama has to hurry and leave for Boston in 15 minutes to get some sleep.

I'm In So Much Trouble

Who loves the spotlight?



This kid.

When You're In My Heart, You're In My Family

Can't talk, parents and brother will be here in 4 hours. House a mess, laundry incomplete, weather horrible. Must go drink tequila shots immediately.

Also, if you ever question spending $573,278.04 on a ticket for a toddler to see something like Nickleodeon's Storytime Live - DO IT. I don't have words to describe what my heart did when I watched Jenny's face during that damn stupid show. Also, I cried. No, seriously, it was so overwhelming to make a little girl THAT HAPPY that I had tears in my eyes, and Cousin J made fun of me (with good reason).

So our next big adventure is the impending visit and all the fun/excitement that brings, then the big 2nd Birthday Celebration, then I have to go to Boston for work (blergh), and then it's Memorial Day Weekend (undecided), then - CAMPING! With a TODDLER! I know, right?! And that will bring us to mid-June, when we head up to Canada. Two days in a car. With a toddler. Yes, I make all the sensible choices.

Lots more pics and fun stories to follow soon.

Status Update: Jellybean Mama would like more time to blog

You know, I'm not positive, but I'm pretty sure hummingbird food isn't the best thing for the rosemary plant...

Once again I had some really stellar ideas for blog posts as I lay in bed awake at 11ish last night, but managed to have them chased away by a nighttime visitor. Who shows up at midnight and hangs around until almost 2am?! And what did I get in return for my graciousness (changed a soaked diaper), politeness (pretended not to notice when I was kicked in the ribs and ear repeatedly) and calm demeanor? (managed not to scream 'A-hole!' when I finally tossed her back into her own bed). Nothing. Nothing except a grumpy kid who didn't want to wear anything with polka dots on it and somehow managed to smear 75 cups of peanut butter everywhere when I'd only put a mere suggestion of it on a toasted bagel.

Jelly. Dude. Seriously. I understand that the pollen is making you crazy, because it's making me crazy also. However, YOU. MUST. DEAL. Mama is having a very difficult and stressful time at work right now. Being able to function, at least at the level of a slack-jawed yokel, is necessary. I cannot take sick/nap time right now. While I understand your ploy to be served quick 'n easy Totino's pizza every night is working out in your favor, it is adding extra guilt to my overloaded stress plate. I had another trying-to-sell-the-house/moving dream last night, where I was living with the guys again. Urk. My poor little brain is just banging on the walls trying to get out.

Happily, I am going to have the house cleaned PROFESSIONALLY again tomorrow in advance of my parent's impending arrival Monday (yay!). Sadly, The Ta has to go out of town again the week I'm in Boston next, and the Most Awesome Caregiver has plans, so I'm scrambling to find someone to keep the Bean for a night. (boo!). It's Raleigh Restaurant Week next week (yay!) but the weather is all crazy so I'm freaking out about the 2-year pics and, you know, that little party I'm having (boo!). Also, I lost a stupid library book. This is why we can't have nice things, Jelly! That, and you like to pour random items on the couch.

May in the Carolinas means Strawberry Season, so that's kind of awesome. Jelly and I went and did some berry picking for Mother's Day, which was lovely. I almost barfed from over-indulging in shortcake, but the homemade strawberry lemonade was H-E-A-V-E-N-L-Y.

This weekend is the big Triangle Mommies Yard Sale, my COOKING CLASS, and *finally* the Nickleodeon Storytime Live Dora Thingie Extravaganza. Finally. I am excited about ALL those things. And then my parents and brother arrive Monday! Huzzah!

I had to break down and get a new carseat for Short 'N Wide. The spare that our caregiver and The Ta share has been outgrown. After much deliberation I went with the Graco Nautilus 3-in-1, mostly because I don't want to have to buy another one, somewhat because I liked the style and colors, and largely because - CUP HOLDER! SWEET!! Uh, I mean, safety ratings and positive parent feedback. So I'll let you know what I think of that. I can tell you I already miss the velcro on the Britax straps, and the Graco has not even been put in the car yet.

Ohh, and we tried out the toddler pool. It's totally brilliant. I wore an Old Navy t-shirt and capris (Jenny insisted I get in with her, fully dressed). Jenny opted for a more au naturel look...

Jellyfish Season

Jennifer Jillian, aka Jellybean, aka Jellyfish
Likes: Candy, dogs, parties, spinning in circles, and long walks on the beach
Dislikes: Owls, robots, cats, having her diaper changed, and grilled chicken

You will all be very happy (and insanely jealous) to know that I finally grabbed my shoulders, shook myself a few times, and then sat myself down for a stern talking to. Well, not really, but I DID crawl out of the slump I was in and am feeling a little better this week, so that's something. I am pretty sure it had something to do with lack of sleep and work stress and JR's impending party and the weather all crashing down, none of which is resolved EXCEPT THE WEATHER!! Beautiful, sunny warm weather! Hello there! And I'm also pretty sure that a slump could happen again in a second, so I need to be wary. My new trick is to force myself to put things away all the way, so we'll see how longs that lasts.

The best part was - I had someone come clean my house! Yep, I admitted to myself that my home was disgusting and I was never, ever going to do the kind of cleaning it was crying out for, so I got a deal on Twongo (sign up for it if you aren't already using it, it's freaking awesome, although don't judge it by today's deal because well, usually the things are more real-world useful). A very nice woman spent four hours scrubbing toilets and wiping down appliances (she got the glass-top stove clean! ) and it cost me $50. WELL worth it. Did I mention I hadn't vacuumed the stairs the entire time I've lived here? 2+ years. Embarassing. But since I had someone coming to clean, that meant I had to pick things up a bit, which was just the motivation I needed. And since I was picking things up and finding lost mail and to-do lists, I figured I should go ahead and take care of some of that. So I called and got my home owner's insurance up-to-date (they randomly stopped doing the payroll deductions in February, and of course I had not opened that letter yet), ordered the party favors, put away every speck of clean clothing in the house INCLUDING the winter coats that were sitting on my bar stools, and packed for my next business trip.

Then, since I was feeling so freaking awesome, I scheduled to have someone come powerwash the house later today, got myself on a lawn care schedule to tame the (dande)lions, had a sleepover at The Ta's, and took Jelly to the lake TWO days. In a row. Sadly I had a minor setback when I had to endure almost 4 hours at the car dealership this morning rectifying a wee brake issue (apparently, it helps to have them) and got wildly extravagant with two beautiful new one-size-fits-the-Vibe tires, but I still feel like I can handle what life has to throw at me. This week, at least. Hey, it's the devil's arithmetic ladies - one day, plus one day, plus one day. We can do it!

So you know how sometimes, I try to cram too much into the weekend and come Monday morning, I’m exhausted and stressed? That was NOT this weekend. This weekend was glorious. I made the wise decision to NOT try to do too much on Saturday (go to the zoo AND the lake), and instead Jelly and I hit the beach. She loved it. Loved it, loved it, loved it. She could not stop talking about it when we got home - 'Water! Dig! Sand! Swim!'. So Sunday morning we got up and did it again. Except this time, I had picked up water wings. So. Freaking. Adorable. The kid is fearless in the water, and I guess had decided at the ripe ol' age of almost-two that it was high time she learned to swim. So she did. She threw herself in the armpit-deep water with wild abandon and started kicking and hollering. I tried not to have a thousand heart attacks or hover over her fluttering my hands nervously, and instead stood and yelled useful things like, 'Chin up! Close your freaking mouth! We don't eat sand! Flail your arms around more!'. She was a rockstar.

Where you goin', Jenny? 'De beach!'

Does this kid look happy or what?

The only downside - the 30-minute car nap instead of the 2-hour home nap.
After the lake we went to a friend's house for dinner and a movie - 'Religulous' and a cookout, which were both pretty great. I learned that our friend Jellybean abhors cats, to the point where she shrieked and ran in the other direction. If the cat had been an enormous, slobbering dog, Jelly would have embraced him with both arms. Definitely NOT a cat person. My friend has this gorgeous raised bed garden area (basically a house foundation, complete with little wood fence and steps) that I was very covetous of, that made me renew my vow to come up with a garden solution for the little grey house. The evening was lovely, and Jenny was dressed like a white-trash hillbilly, which made me dizzy with hilarity and cuteness.

You can't see it, but she's got a Care Bears tattoo on her right upper arm.

A toddler in a wife beater!! And camo pants! Why is this so funny to me?!

Happy May, Happy Monday, and may you all find incentive to get done what needs to get done.