I Sometimes Have Problems Finishing Thi

I love to write, and I love an audience, and this combined with my hatred and avoidance of my job should mean that I would post to my blog hourly. However, life gets in the way. By this I mean I am distracted by my Farmville crops and finding something for lunch that isn’t a boring sammich and reading other people’s blogs. Then I feel all guilty, because I realize how entertained I am by everyone else, and I am not pulling my weight.

I don’t really have too many problems finishing things; I might procrastinate, but I do like to see a project to its close. There are maybe 2-3 projects that I can think of that hang over me (DAMN SCRAPBOOK), like the box of sewing stuff to make a little rag dolly for Jelly and (SCRAPBOOK! I SHAKE MY FIST ANGRILY AT YOU!) cleaning out my closet. That’s not to say I can stay focused and avoid distraction, no siree. That’s how my socks ended up smelling like corned beef. I was cleaning up from dinner and Jellybean spilled a little cup of milk. 3 tablespoons of milk, and she was drenched from head to toe, I had to re-mop the floor, and 17 towels were soaked. So I stopped what I was doing, which was cutting up corned beef to put in the freezer, and ran everything upstairs. I noticed there was clean stuff in the washer, so naturally I threw it all in the dryer. Hence the corned-beef socks. But that’s what you’ve got to do when you’re a busy mom, single or otherwise. You always have to be paying attention to the next thing that needs to be done, otherwise you will be buried. So I do try to get crap done.

That being said, I have a kajillion half-started blog posts at any given moment. Some are scribbled as thoughts on paper, some are neatly typed in MS Word, some are jumbles of funny subject titles and anecdotes in my head. I want to write about the joys of completing my taxes and all the wild fantasies I’ve entertained about what to do with the money I’m getting back, even though I know the reality is I will fritter some away, and use some towards credit card debt, and blow the rest on unnecessary cute clothes for The Bean. I want to write about the challenges of a toddler, and how I feel like I’m doing everything wrong all of a sudden, when I’d been so confident (mostly) up til now. I’ve got excitement to share about an upcoming visit from my youngest sister M, and our trip to Halifax in ONE WEEK. So here, for your enjoyment, are two ‘half posts’. Started with good intentions, like so many things, but leaving something to be desired.

Mine
When you’re considering having a baby, people like to tell you that it will change your life. No duh. You totally know this, even if you’re one of those stupid arrogant spoiled teens on the MTV reality show, ‘Teen Mom’. Not that I would ever watch garbage like that. And can you believe Farrah’s mom totally hit her?! Awesome. Anyhow. Yes, so you know that it will change your life, blah blah blah. You know you’re never going to get the sleep you want again until you’re so old that you can’t. You know that your time will never be your own again, even time you really don’t want to share, like when you would just like five freaking seconds of privacy in the bathroom instead of playing ‘peek-a-boo’ or ‘that’s called a maxi pad, I’ll explain more when you’re older, I should probably stop referring to it as ‘mama’s diaper’ because that’s just going to be very confusing during potty training’. You know that you’ll have to make sacrifices, and someone else will always come first.
However.
As a single lady, one of the things I really didn’t fully understand about this little person coming into my life was just how fully my life would not be my own anymore. You married women, you kinda hafta get use to it; you share a bathroom, hopefully someone else helps you with either making dinner or cleaning up, and there’s always another presence in your bed. Us wild ‘n crazy carefree gals don’t have to worry about things mysteriously disappearing in our homes – we put something down, it stays down (not always a good thing). We stretch out in bed. Our toothbrush is never touched by someone else’s grody cooties.
I will be the first to admit that I like things a certain way. I like things to be in a certain place. Jenny’s closet is organized by item (example; short–sleeved shirts all together, then long-sleeved, then sweaters), then color, then pattern. Except for playclothes, which are hung separately in outfits for ease of dressing when I’m mostly still asleep. I have never put socks on her that don’t match her outfit, even when we’re snowed in at home for 3 days. Some people might call it ‘compulsive’. Those people are totally accurate. Having another person in the house means that things aren’t going to be how you want them again for a long, long time.
[then I was going to write some more stuff about how I'm thinking about rearranging my kitchen to make it more kid-friendly, but how irritating that will be, and how when I leave an area of the house I have to do a total sweep to make sure it's Jenny-friendly]

Things I Failed At Yesterday [day before yesterday]
• Utilizing ‘time out’ successfully
• Keeping my patience
• Providing a healthy, nourishing dinner
• Remembering to never, EVER take a toddler shopping after a long day with a caregiver
• Saying ‘no’ to M&Ms
• Finding the @#$!&% tapir in the car
• Attempting to rationalize with a very, very young person

Things I Succeeded At Yesterday
• Finding the @#$!&% Swiper that was dropped out of the car into the snowbank
• Ending the day on a happy, mama-and-kid-in-the-tub-together note, totally destroying all my walls in the process (who knew water could even splash that high?)
• Buying toilet paper

[was going to write some stuff about how sorry you should all feel for me because my sweet, easy-going happy Jellybean had turned into The Debil; she's in full-on testing mode, and I am still so startled by the obstinacy that I am at a total loss]

Also, yesterday I signed her up for 2-day fall preschool. OMG she's going to love it. We went and toured the church (yes, you heard that correctly), and it's great. The classrooms are terrific, friendly and bright and welcoming (and lots of 'Dora' stuff, I noticed), they have a huge outdoor playground that is enclosed, and the best part is a MASSIVE gym, for rainy-day play. And the teachers are VERY sweet, and highly recommended by Miss D, who use to work there. Plus it's like, a dollar. $125/month. Yay!
Have a great weekend, everyone, and fingers crossed that we don't get snowed in tomorrow again and lose our freaking minds.

My Review of Add-A-Size Garment Extender 10-Pack

Originally submitted at One Step Ahead

S-t-r-e-t-c-h the lifespan of more of baby's one-piece outfits! Unlike others, our garment extender set not only works with Carter's® and Onesies®, but GAP®, Old Navy®, and many other popular brands. You get more, too: includes two each of five different snap styles. Im...

Add-A-Size Garment Extender 10-Pack

Totally worth it

By Jellybean Mama from Raleigh, NC on 2/2/2010

 

5out of 5

Gift: No

Pros: Easy To Put On, Lightweight, Breathable, Soft, Strong Seams

Best Uses: Activewear, Layering, Cold Weather, Travel, Everyday Wear, Sleeptime

Describe Yourself: Parent of Two or More Children, First Time Parent, Parent of Multiples (Twins etc)

I've heard that extenders use to be a lot more expensive that this, and I think you get a lot for the money. You receive multiple sizes, which ensures that you should find something that works with whatever style onesies your child wears. I've used them with Gerber, Old Navy, Gymboree, and Carter's so far. I have a 20-month old who wears 24 mo/2T sizes, so it's tough to find onesies that still fit around a diaper. I've also had a lot of problems with poor fit rubbing her legs. The extenders solved my problems. Soft, washable, and a good size. Great for daytime play or nighttime layering.

(legalese)

Off the Ledge

Man, are you guys ever awesome.

No, seriously.

That was some great advice there, ladies, from each and every one of you (plus The Ta, who called me and said CALM THE HELL DOWN THERE'S NO SUCH THING AS A PERFECT FATHER ANYHOW, and also, 'Give me a warning the next time your post is so serious because I only read it for the Jelly pics and the comedy'. Which is totally fair and totally true. Even if I had a partner, who's to say he wouldn't be a jerk in some way? And no, I don't have to deal with it like NOW, and it's not like Jellybean will need all the answers right away even when she is old enough to start asking questions. And I'll probably screw some stuff up, but I'll do my best, and that's all we can do, just like everything else.

So I guess the answer is to take it one step at a time, be as truthful and heartfelt as I can, and ensure that she knows she's wildly and WIDELY adored throughout the whole thing. Cause that girl has some FANS! And if Quiet doesn't want to be a part of her life, well, that's sad but that's better than some horrible custody situation or an abusive relationship, and I'll just be very matter-of-fact about it like many of you suggested. And who knows, maybe I'll meet someone (hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha) and it won't even be an issue.

And good luck to everyone else going through something similar, or thinking about going through something similar. Especially the thinkers. Don't be discouraged by my occasional mental barfs. The positives of having Jelly in my life far outweigh any concerns or issues (except for the sleep, because really, 5:45 am for the past week?! REALLY?!). Right now we are waiting for ice to melt so that we can get to the caregiver's house, and watching Diego (penguin episode), and she just threw herself to the floor going, 'Honk, honk!' and doing the worm because the penguins were sliding. You just can't buy hilarity like that.

I guess we all have more in common than I thought - the thinkers, the tryers, the single moms, the married moms. We all worry, we all hope for the best but plan for the worst, and we all can understand each other's fears. Even though we may have different situations or be at different places in our lives, we all put ourselves through torment over something like this;

Tapir says hi, too. And no, that's not something coming out of her head, it's my patio umbrella that I definitely should have taken in a zillion years ago. But who's got time for THAT?!