Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Memorial Day Celebrated In Style with Toilet Wings

A cute baby in a hotel window

This past weekend was the much-anticipated trip to Cincinnati, and it was EXACTLY as fun, exhausting, stressful, hilarious, and memorable as I’d expected it to be.

Let’s break it down by activity:

The Flights
The flight there was miserable. Jellybean and I sat beside someone EXACTLY like Loud – young, obnoxious, full of himself, hairy, terrible music taste, honestly and earnestly confused as to why someone would hate him. The stewardess was ready to stab him by take-off, since she’d had to delay departure to check his bag that I TOLD him wouldn’t fit, ask him to take his boots off the bulkhead, turn off his iPod in preparation for departure, AND put on his seat belt. Jellybean, who can sense when someone is an asshat, could not help but stare at him awkwardly about a foot away from his face. His reaction was hilarious – he kept sideways glancing at her, irritated. I thought he was going to throw down his incredibly important papers and ask her if she wanted to fight. However, Jelly quickly tired of being ignored and took matters into her own hands; she sucked in an immense mouthful of diluted juice from her sippy cup, and did a dead-on Jim Carrey imitation as she giggle-spit it all over him. Even though his elbow was constantly in my Philly spot* I felt bad. Holding a wriggling baby/toddler for that long killed my back (no, she did not sleep on either flight), and made me more excited about driving this summer.

The return flight was slightly better, but our seatmate was a freaked-out uptight woman who was claustrophobic on planes (THEN WHY FLY IF YOU KNOW THIS?! IT’S ONLY CINCINNATI-RALEIGH!), and she was equally irritated at having a sweet little baby beside her, a baby who just wanted to love her and play peek-a-boo and pat her. The woman wanted no part of it, and kept ‘harrumph!’-ing angrily, thrashing about in her seat, and complaining out loud about how she was likely to have a panic attack any second. Jellybean tried to console her with a gooey piece of half-chewed mini-bagel, which only made the woman madder. I felt bad, but really, it’s not like my kid was screaming or barfing, so screw you for being mean to a Bean.

The Nights
I learned that my precious nephew has a super-sonic cry that can call woodland creatures to his side and make ocean currents reverse. Sleep was an issue for everyone, most of all for my poor sister. Three kids, three different naptimes – never again. There was also a baby convention at the hotel, apparently, and they were plum (plumb?) out of cribs (luckily, after I got mine). My sister got to experience several safety Don’ts in trying to find a place for little Nathan to sleep, and found herself walking a stroller around in the wee hours of the morning more than once. Jelly still had her cough, so was up a few times, and I spent a few hours over the weekend sitting on the bathroom floor with a book while I waited for her to fall asleep. But she did a good job, considering she was away from home in a strange bed.

The best night was when we gave the cousins a bath together, read them all bedtime stories, and then watched some pay-per-view (‘Coraline’, loved it). It was me, my sister N, and my mum. It was nice. I still wish I had secretly ordered porn so that my dad could have seen it on his hotel bill and freaked out. Gay porn. Or something really freaky, with animals or corn dogs or finger puppets.

The Sights
We were there for such a short time that we didn’t really do much except eat and see lots of family. Friday night totally blew since we were all tired and grumpy and covered in various baby bodily fluids, and I ended up ditching and going back to the quiet and air-conditioning of the hotel so as not to be a raging bitch in front of everyone. This meant I had to break one of my long-standing rules of not eating in the bathroom, since I realized that my only window for hot food was when Jelly was in the bath. As a result, I found myself sitting on the toilet, eating mild chicken wings out of a Styrofoam to-go box, while Jelly glared at me jealously from the bubbles.
And you are...?

We all went to my cousin’s Sunday afternoon, and although I feel like I didn’t get to talk to everyone as much as I would have liked, it was a good visit. Jellybean shocked us all by looking out the window and proclaiming, quite clearly, ‘Doggie!’. I should have expected as much for her second word. She also learned to blow kisses, although it’s more of a put-hand-over-mouth then quickly point at the lucky recipient. Very cute, and her great-grandma got one of them. My one cousin who is a nurse told an extremely funny story about a little old man exposing himself in a bowl of cereal, and an exceptionally juicy bratwurst squirted up my nose. I spent a lot of time in the bathroom because of a rookie mistake with chili dogs at lunch time. I will make that mistake again next trip, guaranteed.

My cousins, playing 'Guess That Fat Baby's Weight'

The Fights
Surprisingly, there weren’t really any, other than the baby slap-fights between Jenny Fingers and Fat Nate. My dad got into it at breakfast with his brother G, and I had the misfortune of sitting across from them, but I was so busy wolfing down biscuits and gravy that I didn’t really care.

The Plights
My sister and her family had an adjoining room, and there was no end of drama and intrigue there. I thought at one point my brother was going to have to climb out my hotel window and shimmy across the ledge to her room, but we narrowly avoided a truly tragic incident involving doors accidentally locking and babies sleeping. I started to get a migraine on Saturday but saw it coming, so headed it off with Xanax and a nap. I always felt like we were late, or that we weren’t doing enough stuff, but it was so hard to schedule so many people.

The True Delights
Jellybean falling asleep watching TV with me (terrible, I know, but so cozy! I would do this ALL the time at home if I let myself). Early morning swimming in the hotel pool. Jelly eating breakfast with Fat Nate and Grandpa. King Carl Castlehoff, a puppet birthday present from Aunt N, and hopefully not a star of any porno movies. The first margarita of the evening Saturday night. My niece shrieking with delight when she saw me in the hotel hallway. Cousins. Juicy grilled bratwurst. Fat Nate’s smile, touching Jelly’s curls. Jelly walking her stroller around the CVG airport. Coming home.

The Ta catches a picture of just how happy I am to be home

*The 'Philly Spot' is that section on a fat girl between her underarm and waist, often mistaken for some sort of relocated third breast. I once had someone try to massage it in what he wrongly thought was a seductive manner, but of course it was simply creepy. I thought he was from Philadelphia, but it turns out he was not, which makes this story, like so many others, totally nonsensical. However, 'Philly Spot' had already stuck. You know what I'm talking about. Also, I just had to mention that I'm eating a 'Cotton Candy' flavored pudding cup and it's FREAKING DELICIOUS. Kroger is awesome. I am so white trash. Please don't tell my baby I'm eating this.

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Happy Memorial Day! To All a Good Night!

Are you even suppose to say that? I mean, isn't Memorial Day about honoring dead soldiers or something? I don't feel right, it's like saying, 'Happy Anniversary of Your Kitten's Passing!' (note: if someone's kitty just went to kitty heaven, I'm very sorry, I didn't mean to be insensitive, I actually really like kitties, I'm just very very allergic so I think I may be a little bitter because I can't have one, plus Jelly apparently is a dog person so I'm doomed because everyone knows I'm not going to get what I want with her around). Anyhow, I hope all y'all have a nice long weekend, especially those of you with a baby or trying to get a baby, because moms and wanna-be-mums need extra love. And either alcohol or chocolate. Or some of each, or both mixed together like a Chocolatini.

I am going to go barf because I'm so keyed up about leaving for Cincinnati on Friday.

Should I go see 'Star Trek' tonight like the dork I am? I really want to, but part of me is like, 'ugh, so much showering and doing your hair, and you really should re-pack for the 800th time, and don't you think you should be the one putting Jelly to bed since she's going to have such a schedule interruption already this weekend?'. So, I think I know the answer. It just doesn't seem right not to take advantage of my parents being here more. But, so tired! As always, sleep wins over everything.

I guess that's my wish for everyone on this fine May day - I hope you get the sleep you need and deserve this long weekend. Lame? Yes. Heartfelt? Oh, hellz yeah.

Monday, May 18, 2009


Brief party post at Triangle Mommies blog -

First Birthday a Wild Success, All Rejoice

The party was fun. I'm too tired to think of anything more descriptive than that. It was also a heckuva lot of planning and work for only 2 hours, but it was worth it. Jellybean thus far is enjoying having her grandparents and uncle here, since it's more people to point and babble to.
The Learning Tower that my dad built turned out great, as seen in the pic below. The Little Princess likes to push it more than stand in it, though, I think. I picked up some pots and pans and other kid-sized cooking stuff for her, so we'll be ready to make gourmet meals side by side, sans screaming or back pain, in no time.
She got a lot of great stuff, books and toys, things that light up and things to cuddle. Aunt J got her an awesome doggy, Aunt M got her the fabulous remote control car that was a big hit with both Jelly and Cade, as well as Grandpa. My mum brought a creepy dolly that was mine when I was a baby, which made me tear up. Aunt Chrissy gave me money so that I can go buy some good walking shoes for The Bean. She got a pink china tea set (every girl needs one), some Yo Gabba stuff, a soccer ball and hammer (every girl should have one of those as well), and some clothes. She had lots of fun, and was VERY disappointed when everyone left.
Now it's back to the grind for a few days as my mum hangs out with Jelly and my dad works on destroying my house (he's ripping out the totally cheesy and useless electric fireplace, to give me some more shelves and drawers for the 874 toys and books).

Friday, May 15, 2009

P-22 Hours

The punch is guaranteed to be nice and cold, and taste vaguely of stinky baby toes

OMG! It's almost party time, excellent!

Jelly got into the spirt of things by playing 'Teacup Ride' in the punch jug. I whipped her around the kitchen floor by the jug handle. She thoroughly enjoyed it. She probably likes the punch jug more than any toy she'll get. I should just put a bow on it for tomorrow, and return everything else and use the money to buy myself some new Old Navy t-shirts that haven't had the necklines tugged on so much that my navel occasionally pops out.

I have had too little sleep and too much work to get overly worked up about the 'rents impending arrival. Luckily, Nanny is awesome and has spent the better part of the morning scrubbing floors, despite surly non-napping teething babies. I am on yet another conference call, and have prepared a nice Top 5 list for you lovely people. Because I'm just thoughtful like that. Think of it as a very, very crappy party favor. You're welcome!

5 Things That Have Most Definitely Not Been Awesome the Past 24 Hours

1. First Year Molars. Last night Jellybean was awake between midnight and 1:30, and from 5-5:30 with hacking fits. She would not drink water, she would not be soothed. First Year Molars – boo. Boo, I say! Neither baby would take a morning nap, and Cade has spent what feels like four hours sobbing inconsolably. Poor, poor Nanny. Thank god I was able to give her all next week off.

2. Back-to-back conference calls today. 10-12, 1-2, 2-3, 3-4. My parents are due to arrive sometime before dinner, hopefully not in the middle of a stupid call, because my dad will for sure traumatize Nanny if I can’t leap down the stairs to remind him that she’s a nice girl and he shouldn’t do anything he would normally do, at all, in front of her.

3. Diarrhea. You love reading my blog, don’t you? The Ta and I continued our research into Local Restaurants Where Cooks Don’t Wash Their Hands yesterday. It’s not a very smart project, I know. We did find another hidden gem, though, and were both up last night blasting the porcelain as a result. It’s always a toss-up whether to let your screaming baby cry or poo your pants. I already have too much laundry to do.

4. News that my court date has to be rescheduled. Since The Bean now has to be served as well, and it’s been longer than 60 days since Quiet was served, we have to start the process anew. Lucky Quiet! He gets to be re-served, Jelly will get served, we will wait the 30 days again, and get another court date. Luckily, I am not too worried that Quiet is going to appear on my doorstep and demand immediate custody, mostly because he doesn’t really like to be bitten, at least not by a girl, and partially because he doesn’t speak Yo Gabba. So I’m luckier than a lot of women and should calm down.

5. Weather reports. Rain, rain, stay away, don’t you know it’s Jelly’s birthday? The Ta and Aunt Chrissy will be happy, since they’re indoor cats who love the sweet breath of the angels and weren’t looking forward to a patio party. I will be the one soaked to the skin, sitting outside with the damn bubble machine.

I hope everyone has a lovely weekend, and you will all be with us in spirit. But thankfully you won’t really be here, because mama needs to have some leftover birthday cake.

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

We're Going to Party Like We're Turning Nine

See, I'm not drinking alone, so it's ok*
Another quick post, since I am still in preparing-for-birthday madness and why-do-I-have-to-also-still-do-this-crappy-job-oh-yeah-to-pay-for-birthday-parties mode. In 'Why, Yes, I'm a Crazy Person, Thanks for Asking!' news, I have spent the better part of the last few days and evenings hand-making construction paper 'Yo Gabba Gabba' figures as decorations for the parties. These aren't little tiny things, either. The tallest, Muno (my personal favorite, which you might have guessed), is about 3 feet. I'm going to find some place to take them and get them laminated tomorrow, so that Jellybean can enjoy my labors of love long after the party without totally destroying them.

Speaking of my ridiculous obsession with making Yo Gabba stuff for her party, my Muno pic was posted over at Gabba Friends! I feel like a celebrity. I promised more pictures after her party, of the cake and gift bags and the decorations.

Speaking of my baby turning one, my sister N and I were having a conversation about when to officially stop referring to your baby as a 'baby', and start referring to her as a 'toddler'. N said she thought it was when they started walking. I thought that cruising was almost walking, so it was kind of a grey area. After this weekend though, I have a definitive answer. Your baby stops being a baby when they treat something ELSE like their baby. For example, up until now Jellybean has been rather ambivalent about dolls. After receiving a Foofa from The Ta, she has carried that thing everywhere. She cuddles it, and gives it pats, and constantly hands it to me and Nanny for us to give it kisses. My baby now has her own baby to love and snuggle. I think that makes her a toddler. It's very sweet to watch, and it's a very important step in emotional growth, blah blah blah. It makes me both proud and sad, a feeling I'm starting to experience more and more as I watch her change in front of my eyes.

And, also, she's cutting her first-year molars so PLEASE KILL ME NOW OH DEAR SWEET BEJEEBUS. Increased drooling, erratic appetite, diarrhea, on-and-off low-grade fevers, a fun new high-pitched screech when she's mad or tired, crying herself to sleep, separation anxiety and hold-me hold-me HOLD ME NOW, DAMNIT, I DON'T CARE THAT YOU HAVE A MILLION THINGS TO DO. Dr. N said it sounded like teething and it was confirmed this morning when Nanny peeked into her shrieking mouth. Nice red, swollen gums, yep.

But still, so fracking cute!
*The reason there are so many bottles is because I don't get to drink anymore. If I didn't have a baby, there would probably be nothing in that pantry corner except for cobwebs and a half-empty bottle of something lame like peach schnapps. And yeah, that's one side of my pantry floor, are you totally jealous?! It's ENORMOUS! The red crate on her left is PARTY STUFF!!!!

Monday, May 11, 2009

Calm? I would like to go to there

No time for real post, too busy panicking about parental unit's impending arrival Friday and first born's birthday party Saturday. Please to enjoy photos of cute baby. Hum 'Banana' song if you wish for entertain you.

She was giggling to herself, and I turned around to see this. Delicious toes.

Ponytail gal

94 degrees and sunny - time to go to the lake!

Yep, she's a climber.

EDIT: 2 new videos in sidebar

Friday, May 8, 2009

Day Court: Five Things

For those of you breathlessly awaiting news of this morning's traumatic sojourn to the Wake County Courthouse, here are five quick points which nicely summarize the experience:

1. I didn't need to be there. I didn't get called on at all. Which was good, because then I didn't have to stand up, and have all the sweat that had pooled in my lined suit dump into my work heels. June 5th will be the magic day when I have to be called up.
2. Jellybean has to get served. SERIOUSLY?! This process is even more ridiculous than I previously thought. It's ok, though, because when she's 16 and thinks it's her first time in juvenile court, I'll let her know she received a summons for her first birthday. I hope the Sheriff delivers it, my neighbors will go crazy.
3. Juvenile Court is no fun. There are no clowns or balloons or cupcakes, just badly dressed Social Services workers and sad tired foster mothers giving updates on the drug-dependent babies they care for. And a mom who told the judge that her 14-year old would rather go to jail than school, and the judge said, 'Well, that can be arranged, tell her probation officer', and the mother said, 'Good, I don't want to miss any more work over this'.
4. At one point, the judge presiding over my case stopped and asked why his courtroom smelled like a Sausage Egg 'N Cheese McGriddle. Ok, no, this didn't really happen, but why am I such a fat girl that I thought THAT was a good idea on a nervous stomach?! Those things have some hang power.
5. The elevators totally blow. And Cousin J. totally rocks for going with me and trying to hold my sweaty hand. And for also snickering when the judge said Loud's name (he was the one who accepted the summons for Quiet). And she kept poking me and telling me to shut up when I could not stop hissing, 'Bow tie!' because there was a totally Southern portly lawyer in da house, and she most likely kept my ass from getting kicked out.

Thank you again to everyone for your words of comfort and support and comedy as I've melted down this past week. It's the weekend! One week from today, my family will be here to celebrate JJ's B-Day!

And remember kids, just say 'no' to larceny, because apparently it can get you 30 months in the slammer. People's Court was almost as awful as Juvy. It was NOTHING like the show. There was way more bad hair and body odor.

Wednesday, May 6, 2009

And Now For Some Healthy Self-Pity

Every once in a while there has to be a serious post. Y’know, because it isn’t all puppies and rainbows and lollipops, no matter what the feminine hygiene commercials promise us.

This week I’ve been thinking a lot about what I really and truly miss about not having a partner, a husband, and a daddy for Jennifer. I think it’s probably because I’m pushing down all the feelings of panic and anxiety about the hearing on Friday. Yep, you heard right – here in the good ol’ state of NC, where there are no laws for silly little things like ‘planned donor conception’, I had to serve a summons to the nice man who gave me my baby. I have to take precious time off work to attend two custody hearings, and pay a lawyer thousands of dollars, and the aforementioned nice man will have ‘child abandonment’ on his record for the rest of his life. Awesome, huh?

I know that the hearing should go smoothly, but this is a pretty conservative state, and they don’t take kindly to child rearin’ without a daddy in these here parts. Especially when it’s done on purpose by some uppity spinster (ok, really, I have no idea how anyone feels, but in my head the judge is going to be 90 years old and shake his head and say, ‘Tsk, tsk’ or use the words 'out of wedlock' when he sees me). The worst that could happen is that the judge could totally not understand the situation and decide to appoint a guardian to serve Jellybean’s best interests, which would drag things out and result in more fees. But still, it’s a custody hearing, and I’m still WAY freaked out about it, and none of my friends are in town to go with me and hold my wittle girl hand. Blergh.

So, yeah, what I miss. I’m usually too tired to miss any of the physical stuff that comes with having a dude around (I'm even too tired to point out the dirty joke there), although I do miss the emotional support and the ‘hi, honey, how was your day’ type of thing. It would be nice if I could share responsibilities of managing the house with someone (like, ‘here’s a hammer, go do your manly duty’). I see dads with their kids, and I wonder how Jellybean will feel when she’s old enough to understand that it’s something she doesn’t have.

What I miss most this week is that there’s no one to turn to when Jelly does something super-cute, or especially rotten, to say, ‘Omg! Can you BELIEVE our kid?!’. As Jellybean becomes more and more hilariously interesting, there isn’t another person who will see how special she is the way that I do. There isn’t someone to share the ups and downs of the day-to-day milestones who is legally and emotionally obligated to care. And there’s this big, gaping hole when she does something that is totally unlike me or my family, and all I want to do is ask her other grandma, ‘Did her daddy do that or make that face or pinch his mother in that annoying way?’.

I know there are all kinds of bad dads out there who are useless, and I know that there are all kinds of moms out there who used anonymous donors, so don’t know half as much about them as I do. I just get sad once in a while when I let myself think that our family isn’t whole and it’s my fault.

Don't worry, then I get a grip and imagine what a pain in the ass any guy who would marry me would be, and I feel much better about it being just the two of us.

Monday, May 4, 2009

8 Things

I got tagged!
A mother I love to read over here got me with the 8 Things tag. I feel like the unpopular girl who got invited to the party, only there’s no unhappy ending or buckets of pigs’ blood (not with the rampant swine flu striking down dozens, no siree!). I am too damn lazy to tag eight people though, so hopefully I will not be cursed with the Broken Chain Letter curse, whatever that may be.

Anyhow, here are mine:

8 Things I’m Looking Forward To
1. Jellybean’s 1st Birthday
2. The trip to Cincinnati the following week
3. Learning more about the person that Jellybean is becoming
4. Working on being the kind of mom she needs me to be, and seeing how I’ll continue to change
5. Christmas (I am ALWAYS looking forward to Christmas, what can I say – we’re almost halfway there!)
6. The trip to Canada this summer
7. Putting away all my winter stuff in my closet
8. Finishing this damn conference call

8 Things I Did Yesterday (Sunday)
1. Went to Wal-Mart
2. Sewed a ‘Muno’ for Jellybean’s birthday
3. Baby laundry
4. Ate 3 cobs of corn in 3 minutes (seriously, the first naked cob was still steaming when I finished the last one, Bean watched in horror and hid her fingers from me)
5. Watched the first half of ‘Beerfest’
6. Ate ½ bag of candy jelly fruit slices. I love those things. I’m a little white trash. And a little bit rock ‘n roll.
7. Emptied out assorted toxic diaper repositories from around the house
8. Picked shredded pink tissue paper out of my work shoes and Jellybean’s mouth

8 Things I Wish I Could Do
1. Read. Other than when I’m on an airplane.
2. Sleep in
3. Spend more time with The Bean
4. Lose weight
5. Make my budget work
6. Have more patience with my parents
7. Move closer to my family
8. Watch a movie in a theater

8 Shows I Watch
1. Law and Order – SVU/Criminal Intent
2. The Soup
3. House
4. How I Met Your Mother
5. The Locator
6. Family Guy
7. Good Eats
8. 30 Rock

A Perfect Mommy-Brain Weekend

Jelly's favorite TV-watching position

This weekend I SHOULD have had a fun-but-hectic Saturday morning, meeting up with my Dental team for a 10:00 am baby shower and then high-tailing it back 175 miles in the opposite direction for The Nanny's son's first birthday party. However, it went something more like this:
6:30 am - Get baby up and dressed in what ends up being only first of many outfits of the day. Shower and dress self in what is suppose to be first outfit of the day but ends up being only outfit of the day. Do hair. Throw in some laundry just from force of habit ('walk past laundry room, insert laundry into washer, wet clothes into dryer, dry clothes either onto bed or back into laundry bag, where I will almost definitely end up accidentally re-washing them')
7:30 - Give baby breakfast. Note how she cutely rubs scrambled eggs into hair. Change her clothes. Turn on electronic babysitting device, 'TV'. Actually apply makeup.
8:30 - Wrap shower gifts and birthday presents. Baby kicks holes in wrap and shreds tissue before devouring. Pink tissue paper is obviously much more delicious than scrambled eggs. Look at crappily wrapped gifts, sigh, and realize all skills are totally gone as a result of doing things with screeching baby constantly at elbow or on lap.
9:15 - Nanny generously picks up baby ON THE MORNING SHE IS GIVING HER SON'S FIRST BIRTHDAY PARTY so that I can leave for the baby shower. Nanny is a superhero. I will be in my underwear and tears and drinking martinis at 9:30 am the morning of Jelly's birthday party. Leave for baby shower.
10:00 - Arrive, ON TIME! at supposed location of baby shower. Parking lot is empty. Stare at cell phone and will it to magically insert useful phone numbers, since I don't exactly have my dentist's home number and the RSVP number was the (closed) office phone.
10:15 - Give up and drive all the way home, imagining scenarios in head where they changed the date or time or location and just didn't tell me.
11:00 - Arrive home. Check invite. Notice as if reading for the first time ever that there are two separate lines for 'Location' and 'Hosted By', which I somehow had mixed up. 'Hosted By' was The Office, which is where I was sitting in my car, crying with frustration. 'Location' was my dentist's home address. Angry at self because I still can't call anyone to tell them why I'm not there. Leave for birthday party, grumpy and sweaty.

11:15 - Arrive at birthday party. Yay, hot dogs and balloons and presents! Jelly smears all those things on her outfit, eats more than anyone else there, and passes out. I strip her to avoid wasting more precious clothing.
Yup, 'mommy brain' is the bestest thing ever. I was sooooo disappointed. Luckily I have an appointment Wednesday so can take the gifts and apologize for my stupidity.

Yesterday Aunt J. hung out for a few hours, which meant I could actually make a homemade present for Jelly, which was awesome. Yay, I accomplished something! I am not what you'd call a 'strong sewer', more like, 'someone who hates to follow directions and is too impatient for patterns or doing beginner stuff', so I basically just drew myself a picture of what I wanted to do and then, uh, started to cut. As a result, I didn't compensate for little things like 'seams' or 'feet', so the proportions are way off and it's definitely a handmade item that looks very little like what it's suppose to. But I love it! And it's enormous, so it should be fun for her.
Today I am on day one of a two-day conference call meeting, blergh. Fortunately this means I am able to write some posts. I got tagged, so I'll be posting my 8 Things here shortly.

Have a good week, everyone!

Friday, May 1, 2009

Uneventful Travel and Glad to Be Home

'Driving' the Nanny crazy. Get it?! I'm really tired, sorry. Don't they look BIG?!

I’m HOME! Yay!
Thank you to everyone and all your nice comments. After my sappy crying-alone-in-my-hotel-room post, things got a lot better. At least, there were donuts. I was too busy with work to really stop and feel sorry for myself, although I definitely looked at the clock throughout the day and thought about what Jellybean was doing.

The meeting at Corporate (which I was running with a coworker) went really well, and my boss was very happy. Yay, job security! I volunteered myself for a few action items, but they’re pretty manageable, and some interesting stuff, so it’s all good. I once again made tragic meal mistakes (as if I thought it was a good idea to eat a 1 ½ lb lobster? Sushi at the airport?!), but slept well and got to have Starbucks every morning, which is stupidly thrilling.
My boss is on the left, wisely covering her faceWe got along until the one on the right spilled his guts, then I wanted to barf at the smell of seafood for the rest of the night

Jennifer J. had a good week, except in the early evenings. Hmm, I wonder why she would start to meltdown at around 5pm every day, and cry through dinner and her bath? Apparently she is very in tune to the fact that mama usually comes downstairs from working every day around that time, so despite being happy and having a great time with Nanny during the day, she was looking for me when she knew I should be there. Kinda cute. And a little sad. She was very happy to see me when I got her up this morning, and I was pretty stoked to see her. She’s hanging out with The Ta for the morning, since Nanny is off for the day preparing for her son’s 1st birthday party tomorrow. So hard to only spend a few hours with her and have to ship her off again! I’m going to sneak out and meet them for lunch, though, and then see if I can get some work done with her hanging on me (yeah, right).
What is this runty little thing? Can I eat it? Jelly is more of a 'big dog' gal
Tomorrow will be busy; I need to put in an appearance at my favorite dental hygienist’s baby shower (have I already mentioned this? It’s not really as weird as it seems; I’ve been going to my dentist for like 11 years, and they knew all about my struggles to be a mom, and the hygienist was trying for years and doing fertility drugs finally and is now pregnant with TWIN GIRLS! So excited for her!), then driving a zillion miles in the other direction to go to the birthday party. Crap, must wrap all gifts sometime between now and then. Anywho, should be fun, and I think we’ll get to see Cousin J. on Sunday, which will be nice.

It was a weird feeling having the Nanny stay at the house this week. 13 years ago I use to house-sit/kid-sit for a woman, and I still remember how great it was – extra money when I was making nothing working in daycare, a fridge and pantry full of food, a huge comfy bed. I realized that I was that person for my Nanny this week, and it was weird because I feel like I’m still 24 years old most of the time. Especially now that I’m a mom, and I’m back to being in a financial and emotional crisis every other minute. I’m just glad, as Jelly’s first birthday rapidly approaches, that she’s had Nanny for her first year. As the savings account dwindles and I look around for things I can sell so I can keep her a little while longer (the Nanny, not Jellybean), I wonder what a different kid Jenny might be without her, and am glad I didn't have to find out.

Not one, but TWO new hit singles as invented out of desperation by Jellybean Mama!

‘The Banana Song’ (uh, not really sure of where I picked up this tune, I’ll get back to you. Or I’ll post a clip of me singing it, which would be much more painful for everyone)

Banana, banana, banana,
We eat dem all day long;
And when-a we eat-a banana,
We sing de banana song.

Oh, banana, banana, banana,
Banana make you strong;
When you eat-a banana,
You grow up big and strong.

‘The Car Song’ (sung to the tune of, ‘Baby Bumblebee’)

Oh, Jelly’s in the backseat of the car,
Crazy mama drivin’, we won’t get very far.
Oh, Jelly’s in the backseat of the car;
What’s – up – JELLY?!

(subsequent versus based on whatever the small unhappy child happens to be doing, for example:)

Oh, Jelly’s very grumpy in the car,
Listenin’ to her screamin’, we won’t get very far,
Oh, Jelly’s throwing her toys in the car;
What’s – up – JELLY!

Oh, Jelly’s drinking apple juice in the car,
If she pours it down her carseat, we won’t get very far,
Oh, Jelly’s very thirsty in the car;
What’s – up – JELLY!