Friday, October 31, 2008

October 31st, 2008

Happy Halloween!

I TOTALLY forgot it was Halloween this morning. Me. Who LIVES for stuff like this, and loves to dress up, and go crazy for holidays (although I don’t necessarily throw crap around the house). I caught Jenny’s nasty little cold bug so have that terrific combination of head-clogged-hurts-to-swallow-can’t-think-so-weak. I felt bad because Nanny got to the house and was wearing orange and black, and Cade was dressed up, and there’s me and Jenny like lame asses in everyday wear. Poor Jenny. Thank god she’s still too young to be traumatized. Poor Nanny. I wish she knew that normally, I'm much more cool.

Since we’re sick, I have to bail on our sleepover plans, which sucks for a multitude of reasons. I was excited about scrappin’ AND now I either have to run and get candy, or hide from my neighbor kids, and I don’t want to be that person. This is like the 5th Halloween I’ve been sick, come to think of it… last year I was pregnant, a few years ago I had a terrible migraine, one year I had the flu – ‘tis the season, I guess.

It’s been COLD here the past few mornings, which is odd for NC. The frost has been beautiful though, and I’ve been sleeping like a baby. A healthy baby. Not a stuffy-nose baby who is mad she can’t breathe when she sucks her fingers. Poor Jellybean. And it frustrates me, because mama can’t make it all better for her, and all I do is torture her further with saline and nose suckage.

Sunday morning, if we feel better, we have a play date with an old friend of mine that I worked with 9 years ago. She’s had another baby since, so has a 2-year old girl that I am very excited to meet. And she’s a great person for gossiping with, so I can’t wait to catch up. Thanks, Facebook!

I hope everyone has a fun night, whatever your plans, be they parties, or handing out candy, or bolting and hiding when the doorbell rings because it scares you, or dressing in a sexy costume and trying to score so you have a story for your therapist, or wrangling multiple small monsters despite your exhaustion so that they have fun, or eating chicken soup and going to bed at 8:30, or packing for Denmark. Man, my friends' lives suck!

Monday, October 27, 2008

Weekend Update with Jellybean Mama

I'd like this one, please. And a spoon.

Phew! That pretty much sums it up. We had a rocky start to the weekend with the introduction of peas, which for Jellybean have the magical power of turning poo to stone. So then we moved on to prunes, which have the magical power of making poo shoot all over the changing table the very instant I bend over to throw out a diaper. So then, always a sucker for punishment, I decided to also introduce pumpkin, which had the magical power of making me wish I was dead because it was so much damn work. But I finally roasted a pumpkin! After years of buying them and swearing I would make totally-from-scratch pumpkin pie, or that soup you serve in the pumpkin shell… yes, pumpkin was my eggplant ( you know, something you buy over and over and just stare at and eventually throw out without touching; like persimmons). Anyhow, yes, finally did it. So I took a damn picture because I was so freaking proud of myself.
Yeah, I really do think I'm all that.

Saturday I got to go have a massage, and it was A W E S O M E. Seriously, I told Dre when we left that I had to go to Jarrod’s and get an engagement ring for Candace, my masseuse. I instantly booked another with her for the weekend after my next Boston trip (and before my parents arrive). Smart, huh?! Aunt Chrissy babysat her and said she did fine, so we totally need to hang with Aunt Jen some more before next month.

Sunday started off rough. Jenny had no interest in sleeping in, despite my protestations that it was a weekend. She is a cold, cruel child. She thought that repeatedly punching me in the face and giggling was a much better plan. My own damn fault for making a ‘beep’ noise whenever she touches my nose. Memo to self: Do not teach small brutish mammal anything else, ever.
So we hit the ground running at 6 am with a few loads of laundry and started making homemade baby food for the week. Then there was the cleaning. And then I broke a glass bowl and it shattered into one billion pieces so there was more cleaning, and broken glass shards in my feet all day and guilt and paranoia about crawling babies. And we went to the Triangle Mommies Trunk-or-Treat, so there were some outfit changes. Oh, and I squeezed in her 5-month photo session there as well. Did I mention I forgot to eat breakfast or lunch AND started my period that morning? We walked around at the ToT event, which Jenny seemed to enjoy (attention-seeking baby), but I was approximately the temperature of the surface of the sun in my 19-layers-of-black witch costume. And there were only like 3 other moms there dressed up! AS IF! I am a SINGLE MOTHER, people, so don’t stand in front of me and whine about how hard it is at home, not working, with your husband, and your school-age child, and your lack of a costume. And your lack of an ass in those awesome stripey leggings. Sheesh.

No, really, I am this happy and cute, despite what the whiny lady says.

So needless to say, I fell asleep sitting up on the couch at 6 pm. I was wiped. I put Jellybean to bed without a bath like the terrible mother I am, and tried to crawl into bed at 8ish.


Jenny realized instantly, at 8:17 pm, that she had a cold. Which included nasty sinus congestion that TOTALLY pissed her off. She’d sleep for 11 seconds and then try to breathe through her nose and wake up, furious at the indignity of it all. So I pulled her into bed with me, since I knew I’d be awake anyhow, and spent the night patting and generally trying unsuccessfully to soothe a very unhappy and snotty baby every ½ hour or so.

Me. Tired. Very.

Such a crappy way to start a Monday. But the pics from the photo session yesterday turned out even better than expected (Hint: I may not need to save my pennies for a professional photographer for Christmas, after all. And no, you can’t see them yet). Jelly really had fun yesterday, despite the 80’s dance party music blaring unexpectedly (which made me realize Jenny has a lot to learn about her mother’s musical leanings). I just, uh, would like some sleep, please. I’ll wash my baby, honest. Just make her feel better.

Friday, October 24, 2008

A Fair Day, A Better Bath, and a Cute Kitty

Can you believe that next Friday is All Hallow’s Eve?! That is just crazy. I have to try Jelly’s costume on her this weekend, because I have a sneaking suspicion that she will not be a kitty for Halloween after all. It was snug a few weeks ago, and she hasn’t managed to lose any girth since then (just like her mama), so she may have to be crammed into her Renaissance Faire dress instead. Poor little thing will have to be a princess instead. The Nanny totally called me out on not one but two of my weaknesses this week – one was when I struggled to decide between a little bunny hat and a little kitty hat for Jenny to wear on her outing, and she said, ‘So, you like ears, huh?’ and I admitted that I actually had a hat of my own with kitty ears (don’t you judge me!). The second was when I returned home from Trader Joe’s with handmade marshmallows. She said, ‘So, you like marshmallows a lot, huh?’ Apparently she noticed that there were multiple sizes and flavors in the pantry. So embarrassing. Why can’t I be cooler? I have a feeling Nanny loves to tell stories about her boss.
The afternoon at the fair was great. Jellybean got a lot more out of it than I ever would have imagined, but that might be because she had quite a few people adore her and smile and talk to her. She was not happy when I put her on the ‘Guess Your Weight’ scale, but went crazy when I gave her a little teensy bit of root beer. She was ambivalent about most of the animals in the barn with the exception of the cows. I don’t know how I’m going to keep one of those in my backyard when she’s older.
I ordered and received the world’s best baby bath product this week, the Kangaroo pouch. OMG I wish I’d had that like 5 months ago. It’s especially great now that it’s -32 degrees in the house – I can whip her slippery chubby tush out of the deadly tub and straight into a warm, snug, soft cuddly pocket against my chest. And it has a hood for her wet little head, so she doesn’t lose that 92% body heat that my mother always warned me about. I totally heart it. Get one if you have a baby. Now. It’s worth any price. And it’s adjustable as she gets longer! SO SMART.

Tomorrow I GET TO GO HAVE A MASSAGE! And the world rejoiced! Sunday is the Triangle Mommy Trunk-or-Treat, so we get to play dress-up, which is always awesome. Hmm, I just realized I have no idea what I’m wearing for my witch costume under the overdress from my Renn costume. Well, at least I don’t have a shortage of potential black clothes to choose from. I can’t wait to post those pics next week. And I TOTALLY need to take JR’s 5-month pics, who knows when I’ll find time to do that. I am still getting use to the idea that she’s growing up.

Monday, October 20, 2008

Jelly Roll

I use to take baths in here. Now it's just another Jellybean play area.

Jenny rolled over yesterday, totally unprompted and totally tickled with herself. I put her down on her back, turned away to grab the camera, and she was on her stomach when I turned back around. Luckily she did it twice more so I could capture it on video for all posterity. Like everything she does, it makes me excited that she’s getting older and gaining mad skillz (still no bow, as yet), but also sad and nostalgic and where’s-my-baby-gone? all weepy momma. She’s going great guns with the solids, and I’m pretty sure she’ll claim a drumstick for herself at Thanksgiving dinner in Charlotte.

Strike 2 this weekend with the Big Bad Bathtub. I found another seat that is like a Transformer, and converts from baby-sits-in-water to baby-sits-upright-in-a-seat, that I thought would work. Apparently the bottom of my tub is to blame, as it was still a little skiddy. Also, it bit her in the leg. I’ve decided the builders of my house were sadists because the toilet is in the worst possible position for trying to give a kid a bath. I may have to move her cozy nest out of my bathroom tub and bathe her in there. So much work, this bath time thing! So much backache and sore knees and wet clothes and cold baby and dirty washcloths and trauma. *sigh* At least she’s being doing a great job of going to bed afterwards – she conks out after a post-bath bottle, I wait ½ hour or so til she’s dead weight, and she sleeps til 6. I actually got to read a magazine last night, and turn pages with BOTH HANDS! I know, my sister would punch me in the face since she’s got a toddler and a newborn and probably dreams of having 5 seconds to read a magazine or wipe thoroughly or eat a fig newton.

Saturday we didn’t go to the farm because it was suppose to be rainy, so we went to PetSmart with Tata and Jellybean picked out a puppy for her. Beau Diddley Dog is very sweet, although as much a burden as a baby (he can’t do steps yet so has to be carried outside at 3 am to piddle). Next weekend I was going to try to attempt a Halloween party, but since it starts at 5:30 and is 30 miles away, the math doesn’t bode well (the approaching train of bedtime hurtles towards me starting at 6 or 6:30). I am still going to try to do Trunk or Treat with the local mommies group on Sunday, though, which should be a good time. And Aunt Chrissy will watch the burden for a few hours on Saturday so I can go get a massage-school massage, which I cannot WAIT for after last week’s definite-absence-of-a-promised-massage at the spa open house. Hopefully Jenny will give Aunt C. less of a hassle than poor Aunt Jen last week.

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Thursday, October 9, 2008

Jennifer Jillian, Superstar

Admit it, you wish you could still do this

I’ve been trying to write a post for three days now, and despite my desire to avoid anything that looks like work, I’ve managed to find other things to do that aren’t work OR a semi-literate, mildly interesting, mediocre, unfunny post.

Things I’ve Done This Week That Aren’t Work or Blogging

Watch my baby roll over! Yes! She's so completely, totally awesome! A full back-to-front-to-back roll over! It was totally coaxed out of her by the always-fantastic Nanny, but still. It counts. She is a rockstar. The Nanny's baby was like, 'Whatever, I could do that if I wanted to, I just don't want to'. And he's three weeks older. So she gets a baby point (whatever that is).

Booked my Christmas flight to Canada. Yes, I say ‘finally’ even though it’s only October, because I’ve been agonizing about it since Baby Fathead was born. Do I go for the slightly cheaper layover that will take a minimum of 6 hours of travel time PLUS the joy of going through customs, or do I bite the bullet (and the AMEX) and just do what every other good American is doing right now and put the equivalent of what I paid for my first car on a credit card so that I can be there and done with it in 1 ½ hours? I have a four-month old. I made the smart, expensive choice. Two exciting things about booking with Air Canada – they had a link to Zerofootprint, a carbon-offsetting group, so you could donate the equivalent of the damage you were doing to the environment by flying in a big nasty airplane. One of my resolutions when I became a mother was to try to be a little more environmental, so I thought this was nice. Also, with AC, Jelly gets to check two pieces of her own luggage IN ADDITION TO MINE. For no additional cost. So sexy! This was good news, since she officially has a different holiday-themed outfit and ‘Baby’s First Christmas’ sleeper for each day that we’re at my parents. Plus hats.

Barfed over car seats. Booking my trip meant I started worrying again about Chunks’ next seat. The internets and every single parent on the planet implied that I would be a child abuser if I did not buy a $300+ Britax for Little Precious. She needs to recline, have a cup holder, and be able to launch missiles. I guess I should be grateful I got her travel system for such a steal, because it looks like I’m going to hit the streets and start turning tricks for her next child restraint device. What was it they used in the old-timey days? Oh, right, nothing.

Put away more of Jellybean’s 3-6 mo and summer clothes. It just made me mad this time that there were so many freakishly adorable outfits that she didn’t get to wear either because of weather or freakishly fat upper thighs. I set aside a few ‘keepers’ and was distraught to realize if I do this every time she outgrows stuff I will have to convert my guest room into a closet. But seriously, how cute were those polka-dot jammies? KEEP ‘EM-CUTE, that’s what.

Synced my cell with Outlook and uploaded Jenny’s lullabies to my phone. Because, well, you never know when you’ll just HAVE to have a copy of ‘Baby Beluga’ on stand-by. I needed it last night at Ta’s when she was Super Incredible Fussing Baby – that one little song could’ve made things so much easier, although it would have been hard to hear over Tata and her visiting parents bickering. Ah, mothers and daughters, such an emotionally fraught, nerve-wracking thing. I also backed up several laptop folders to an external hard drive, which is ALMOST like work, but since I was mostly backing up the seven trazillion pics of Jelly it doesn’t count.

Go to the dentist. My trying-to-get-pregnant hygienist still hasn’t had any luck AND the new girl cleaned my teeth with horrid cinnamon polish, so it was an all-around bad visit.

It's almost Friday, so have a nice weekend and remember - be careful out there.

Oh, and Happy Thanksgiving, crazy Canuck-style.

Friday, October 3, 2008

Fightin' Words

Jenny has had a very fun week, vaccinations excluded. She had lots of outings with Nanny, and since the weather is cooler she is much happier when outside. I was a little sad, yesterday, because their outing meant going to one of those pottery-painting places to make a present for me for Christmas. It was the first ooooh-I-missed-out-on-one-of-her-firsts kinda things, but I reminded myself a.)She’s just a baby and her long-term memory isn’t that great and b.)It’s just a pottery-painting thing. So I’m over it. But it made me think of the next first that may be more important that I will feel sad about missing. Luckily I’m right upstairs for when she starts to crawl and walk and talk, so I need to let some of the other stuff go. It’s part of sharing motherhood with another person, and I need to toughen up so that I don’t have bitterness or melancholy or regret or little hurt feelings.

In DEFINITELY TMI news, I’m feeling better, which is odd because I’ve spent the past few weeks trying a million different things, and when I decide SCREW IT! and make chili for dinner, with hot sauce dribbled saucily all over it, like, ‘In your face, potential irritable bowels!’, I am FINE. It was the first meal I’ve had in weeks that wasn’t immediately ejected. How does that make sense?!!! Rice and toast = blowout, but chili sat quite nicely and pleasantly in my system until a smooth and quiet departure. I’m flummoxed. Sorry to share. Happy Friday!

Tonight is the monthly Hacker meeting, which may raise a few eyebrows, but Jelly needs to be around more dudes and it’s the perfect venue for that. We’ll go and hang out and she’ll get passed around and adored and I’ll slowly sip an overpriced watery chai drink and think about how nice it would be to be at home having a Jammy Jam. But plenty of time for that this weekend. Tomorrow Tata and The Baby and I will hit another consignment sale, and then Sunday is Clean the Closet day. I started tearing out all my winter stuff already, and have two bags of stuff to donate that I can’t believe I moved. As if I’m ever going to wear a ‘Free Winona’ t-shirt! I am forcing myself to pack away all my comfy maternity clothes, because that doesn't help anyone, but I'll miss all those stretchy waistbands and swingy tops.

In ‘Mommy is a Crazy Lady Who Shouts at People’ news, I was out yelling at neighbor kids yesterday evening. These kids, 8-10 years old or so, who live up the street, like to bike down to my end of the cul-de-sac and bounce a ball and play in the empty lot next to myself and have screaming contests. It’s lots of fun. Anywhoo, yesterday they added throwing rocks at the neighbor’s dog to the after-school adventures. I was done. I went outside and hollered, ‘You better not be tormenting that dog!’, and when they got all surly and started mumbling under their breath, I added, ‘And come get your bike out of my driveway!’, and stood there glaring with my best Teacher look. I guess they could tell I meant business, because they got on their bikes and left. I’m interested to see what they do to my house when I’m not home.
This morning, the nice men who cut my grass but don’t speak much English, showed up a week earlier than they were suppose to be scheduled. I knew it was coming, because they cut it earlier than they should have when I was last in Boston, and I refuse to pay that much to get my stupid grass cut that often. So despite the fact I was on a conference call, as soon as I heard the motor start I put the phone on mute and tore off my socks (faster than stopping and putting on shoes) and went flying outside. I realized I didn’t know the Spanish word for ‘Stop’ and shouting ‘Hola!’ just seemed weird, so I started waving my socks and lamely screaming ‘Hey there!’ When the nice man shut off the engine and cocked his head at me, like, ‘What do you want, crazy barefoot lady?’, I tried to get my point across by TAPPING MY WRIST and repeating, ‘No, too soon!’ Who knows what the hell he thought I was doing, but he eventually got my point and packed up. I really am that cheap. Hey, it’s $30! I need that money for tomorrow.

Have a great weekend, everyone!

Wednesday, October 1, 2008

Vaccination Reaction and Little Baby in a Big Highchair

Jelly was a TROOPER getting her shots! She was understandably in pain and totally pissed off (rather than hurt feelings like last time), but it was over quickly and she calmed down right away. I have a new favorite doc at her practice, he was so great with her. She glared at him the entire time – I think she knew what was coming. I managed not to cry, since I realized she was going to look to me during stuff like this, especially as she gets older, and I needed to keep my shit together.
She was ok all day, but as early evening approached she started to feel lousy and got a little warm. She didn’t want to sleep or eat or play, she just wanted to snuggle and suck her fingers, poor little mouse. I took her temperature again (and was much less a baby about it this time) and she was at 101.3, so I called my sister and then gave her a little Baby Tylenol (Jenny, not my sister). I knew she wasn’t feeling well because she went to sleep with a very weak struggle.

We had a huge crashing thunder/lightening storm at 3:30a, which normally would be cool but all I could think was, ‘Oh god don’t wake the baby’. She sighed a few times but stayed asleep until her usual 4a. I did not get up though, and she fitfully slept until 6 and then started to howl, and I figured that was more reasonable than 4 so I should go get her. She was still warm, so I gave her a little more Tylenol and pulled the hot baby into bed with me, with the fan on. She slept a little bit longer, and was feeling better by the time we got up at 7:30. She’s at Nanny’s today so I hope she is doing alright.
The timing was stupid of me, but I was all excited to get the go-ahead from the doctor, so tried giving her a little cereal for dinner yesterday. She wasn’t too sure what to make of it, and was probably starting to run a fever at that point, so we’ll see what happens at our next attempt. Very cute though. I got all compulsive and put together a table of different foods for her to try, where I could document the date and her reaction. While I am looking forward to not spending $200/month on formula, I am sad that she is ready for this next stage. She’s still a baby, but she’s not going to be for very much longer. And it doesn’t matter how many pictures I take, or how many times I just sit and try to hold onto the moment, my first and only is going to grow up and I’m not going to have a baby any more. I’ll miss her very much.