Thursday, December 18, 2008
We will be in Canada for like a million years, so will be web dark until January. I hope that everyone has a very merry Christmas, a safe and happy holiday, a terrific New Year's, and enjoys warm and fun times with friends and family members. Don't kill the family members, they mean well.
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
Yes, I have proven time and time again to be a dirty liar.
No, I cannot afford this. No, she does not 'need' this.
But, really, as if? When people say, 'So what did you get your daughter for her first Christmas?', I will always be able to answer, 'A pony'.
And it's really, really super-cute. I know exactly what she's going to do on it. She's going to hug it, and crinkle its ears, and suck her fingers, and not rock 'n bounce at all. But she will love it.
In exciting news, JENNY GOT HER FIRST TOOTH!!! Yes, now all she wants for Christmas is just one more to pop through and she'll have her two front teeth. She did awesomely, I didn't even know it had shown itself until I stuck my finger in her mouth. Good work, Jelly! Next stop, steak!
Monday, December 15, 2008
Today was a sad day because The Nanny's baby was barfy last night, so she couldn't come play. Which meant I had two really serious to-do items that I'd put off doing Friday that were going to be ignored in favor of 'Who's Got Stinky Toes?' and other classics (Jenny also greatly enjoys 'Mama's Interpretive Dance Stylings to Christmas Music' and 'Bellybutton Raspberries'). Luckily The Nanny's mum, Mimi, showed up around 3:30 so that I could get a teensy bit of blogging err work done.
It's like three seconds until we leave for Canada, it's so crazy. My Christmas wish this year is for the two of us to relax and get well, and I shotgunned some Flinstones chewables as I typed that. My mum thinks that Jellybean has an allergy, since there is apparently no such thing as the six-week-cold, so maybe getting the bastard out of Carolina will help (yes, I know, it may be accurate and a teensy bit funny but it's not very nice to say).
In much more boring news, I have my new laptop so am using the new Office 2007 MS Word 'Post to Blog' feature. I'll let you know how it turns out, and how much crying and screaming is involved. I don't like new things and drag my heels on changing pretty much anything, but I have a serious crush on the new Outlook layout. I feel like a commander at a post of some kind, there's just so much data available on my screen at one time!
As I load up all my old programs and spyware I will get back on track very quickly with updating Jelly's site with pics, however, I plan to be totally web dark for the holidays. I like to vacation on my vacations, which means no pressure to constantly update Facebook or stay on top of yahoo spam or view the latest youtube viral vid. I'll be back online sometime the week of January 5th, but will try to post at least once more before I go. Because, you know, I'm sure as heck not going to be WORKING this Friday.
Tuesday, December 9, 2008
The bad news was that Saturday evening I came down with the flu. I was hot/cold and up all night, finally barfing some time around 4am. Sunday morning my life-saving friend Ta picked up Jelly early, and I pulled myself together enough to shower and get on a plane.
Sunday evening I ran off a plane and barfed my guts out in the baggage terminal bathroom.
Early Monday morning I barfed some more, dozed feverishly, then woke up with pink eye.
This morning I woke up with the flu, pink eye, PLUS a cluster of cold sores.
Whaddya think tomorrow will bring? I’m excited. I am wondering if I’ll actually spew frogs, or locusts maybe. My poor little immune system must be so mad at me, I can’t imagine. I assume it’s from Jellybean constantly sneezing in my open mouth, or because I spend 14 hours a day up to my elbows in her boogers, or because she had some fussy nights and refuses to sleep anywhere but 1 ¼ inches away from my face, and she thinks it's hilarious to spit at me to try to get me to open my eyes.
I can only assume the lack of sleep the past few weeks is to blame. That, and my mother is right and I need to start taking better care of myself and eating real food. The past few days have been brutal – I’ve cut out dairy, chocolate, caffeine, citrus (or anything acidic in general), all migraine triggers in case that’s contributing (alcohol, mushrooms, MSG) – nothing is helping the crapping/barfing program my body is steadily running. Do you REMEMBER the post where I said I was looking forward to this week because I was going to get to go out drinking with some old coworkers I hadn't seen in 5 years?! CRUEL!!
Since I’m trying to be more positive this week for whatever reason, it’s actually good that I’m not home in my comfy bed right now. I’m not exposing The Bean to whatever the heck I’m wracked with. And I don’t have to get up with her in the night, which was brutal on Saturday (I put her in my lap and did the sitting bump thing to get down the stairs so that I wouldn’t drop her). Although I miss my electric blanket when the chills take over – I slept fully dressed and in my winter coat Sunday night, which was not as comfy as you might think. And I feel bad knowing that I exposed at least a zillion people to the medley of holiday joy I’m walking around with. But it’s a bad time to be unemployed, and my boss now definitely knows I’m committed (as well as committable).
I just want to be home. I miss my snotty baby. Look at that face again. How could I feel bad when I've got that waiting to greet me in a few days?
Friday, December 5, 2008
I was prepared to write yet another ‘oh poor me’ post this morning, as I am writing from bed. I started feeling crappy last night as my throat slowly closed up and my glands prepared to take over my whole head. I had nightmares about being sick. First thing this morning I called my doctor, who can’t see me til 4:30. I just know it’s strep throat. That’s what I get when I’m stressed and run down and miss sleep. And of course it’s a Friday, so I’ll need to take care of the baby all day tomorrow and Sunday by myself while trying not to give it to her. Oh, and then I fly to Boston Sunday evening because I have a presentation to give to 35 of my peers all day Monday and Tuesday. Yep, awesomeness.
But it could be worse.
I could have no sleep and a screaming baby, and be out of my mind worrying about what I could do to make it even a little better.
I could have a darling husband and several cute children, and be in a terrible plane crash and have to be put in a medically-induced coma for three months.
I could be still trying to have my first and only, suffering through month after month of crushing disappointment and fertility humiliations err treatments, only to be told at age 36 that I’m starting menopause early.
Some people think that blogs are self-serving, a waste of time, passive spam. I constantly find blogs that remind me to appreciate what I have, to stop bitching about the small things or even the big things because, well, at least I have the ability and energy to bitch, right? Over 500,000 people were laid off in the month of November, and I wasn’t one of ‘em. My neighbors totally suck, but I have a nice house, and the heating bill is killing me but I have heat. Diapers and formula have taken the place of $200 hair cuts, but I can feed and clothe my baby. I have to be away from Jelly for a week, but we will have two whole weeks at Christmas together, and I have a tree up and presents underneath it, and I didn’t have to steal or ask for a handout to get them.
If you are having a really, really bad time right now, look around the interwebs. There are other people sick and scared and lonely and tired and frustrated and hurting. Remind yourself of 5 things that you are grateful for. I’ll bet it won’t be hard. And hang in there. Remember the Devil's Arithmetic - one day plus one day plus one day plus one day...
My 5 Things Today:
1. Jellybean (duh!)
2. My job - Unknowingly paying me to write blog posts for over 4 years
3. My family, and my friends who are like family
4. I’m not in South Carolina
5. Chocolate-covered marshmallow Santas (you were expecting something deeper from me? Have you EATEN those things?! Happiness in a little green foil wrapper, my friend)
Tuesday, December 2, 2008
Friday, November 21, 2008
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
2. Smarty McPantsalot
Is his own favorite audience. Asks stupid questions because he has no friends and this is the only time someone actually listens to him. Does things like fight about commonly-used phrases or expressions. Known to look things up online to contradict the instructor and prove himself right about things totally unrelated to the training. Sits back in his chair with his arms behind his head and his feet up, in order to seem devil-may-care. Often confused with Mr. Much More Important Than You.
3. Defensive Lady
Easily identified by her outdated hairdo and wardrobe, and her large, cheap, tacky earrings. Tries to make eye contact with everyone when she talks but just ends up looking shifty. Mumbles under her breath when her opinions are shot down. Spins nervously in her chair when speaking. Interrupts people (instructor included) constantly. Rushes out of the room when class is over to avoid direct human contact. Commonly a representative from Support.
4. Mr. Much More Important Than You
Leaves his cell phone on (and has either some sort of hideously annoying customized ringtone, or an equally irritating generic ear-bleeding Nokia ring) and takes calls during class. Leaves for extended periods and times his returns so that they cause maximum interruption, yet always stays in the room 'working' during lunch and break times to the annoyance of the instructor. Spends the entire training session on email and IM. Sits in the back room and has constant sidebar conversations with everyone around him. Always the first to leave for the airport. Talks everyone into going someplace crappy for dinner and then doesn't show up.
5. The Slob
Shows up late no matter the start time. Instead of a notebook, paper and pen he has a loud, messy snack. Sometimes confused with Shorts Guy due to his slovenly attire, however, Shorts Guy wears a clean dress shirt and The Slob sports a stained faded golf shirt that occasionally rides up to show his pale extended beer gut. Brags about going to Dunkin Donuts during the lab exercise. Usually spills something, and always leaves a trail of Diet Dr. Pepper bottles and Tootsie Roll wrappers in his wake. Is a close talker and likes to tell vaguely offensive jokes. Always sits beside me.
6. Helpful Helen
Reminds the instructor of things like telling attendees to SHUT OFF THEIR DAMN PHONES ALREADY! During the stupid 'dare to share' intro always has a little joke prepared to put the group at ease and make the class seem like a fun place to be. Fixes wireless access for at least 2 classmates, or helps The Slob keep track of what page they're on or what planet. Organizes group dinner activities. Nods and smiles a lot at the instructor to make it seem as though she is paying attention, when in reality she is drafting her next blog post or looking at pictures of her baby and counting the hours til when she can hold her again.
The tragically stupid rental car I have this week. THREE rows of seating. As if!
The Service Eval I’m attending was boring as hell, which is to be expected, although I did get to see my ol’ training pal Joan. Hi, Joanie! The bad news is, there is just so much I have to get done in the next few weeks that I’m working nights all this week and having to use my lunch breaks for meetings in order to keep treading water. I had all kinds of wild ‘n crazy plans to party and get drunk and see R-rated movies this week, but like the best-laid plans I have managed to eat a lot of takeout in bed in my jammies.
Jellybean still has her cold (going on one month, now), and has had some stomach issues. Thankfully her 6-month checkup is Monday, so they can tell me that she’s fine and there’s nothing else I could be doing besides my compulsive worrying. SIX MONTHS OLD THIS WEEK. MY BABY!! We had a sad day last Saturday when we attempted to go see Santa at the mall. I got her all dressed up in her holiday finest and strapped into her (almost outgrown) car seat, when she hurled everywhere. As in, I had to clean out the BUCKLES. Gross, and, poor baby. It was doubly disappointing when I learned today that the appointment to have professional photos taken on Sunday needed to be cancelled, since the woman didn’t actually have a studio. Or backdrops. I was like, ‘Uh, I can take pictures of my baby in my own house myself, thanks anyhow’. I guess I’ll wait til she’s one, since I’ll never find anyone on such short notice at this point. Frowny face.
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
Now that that’s out of the way, is it Christmas yet? I may have decorated Jellybean’s room already. In my defense, I had all kinds of leftover ornaments from her last photo shoot, and I couldn’t just put them away in sad little lonely boxes. So I hung them all around her room, on the mirror frame and the curtain rod and on her clothes hooks. Then I found a fantastic fiber optic mini-tree in hot pink. Yes, you heard me – FIBER OPTIC. You know how weak in the knees I get when I see little changing lights. So that got thrown in there. Jenny doesn’t know what to do with it all but thinks it’s pretty darn fun.
Sunday I have to go to Boston, which totally blows – I don’t get a full weekend with The Jelly. And then I get back late Thursday night, after she’s in bed already. But how happy will she be to see me get her up on Friday morning?! Then it’s busy, busy, busy. Another massage, and her first professional photo shoot, and then it’s Thanksgiving and we’re off to Charlotte, and will bring back my parents and brother. Then it’s the local Christmas parade, and another Boston trip, and a Festivus party, and Canada for Christmas! Time is flying. Her 6-month appointment is on the 24th. Hard to believe.
Wednesday, November 5, 2008
We've still got a long way to go. Let's not get too excited until we see that change is effected, and that it's the change we need. Let's not forget that there are still a lot of issues out there that, while they may not be as big as the race issue, are still important. There are still people fighting to take or keep away rights that others have, be they women or immigrants or handicapped or just plain poor.
Prop 8 passed, folks. That's uncool.
Tuesday, November 4, 2008
Imagine my supreme embarrassment when, while watching my favorite Halloween movie, ‘Practical Magic’ (ok, so maybe it’s one of my favorite movies all the time – I already told you not to judge me), I had a shocking and terrible revelation.
I named Jenny after Nicole Kidman’s character.
No, really, it’s awful – here I was, watching the movie with one eye and watching my sleeping baby and this week’s issue of Entertainment Weekly with the other, when all of a sudden Sandra Bullock’s character says, ‘Jillybean’. Now, I looked it up, and the character’s name is technically spelled with a ‘g’, ‘Gillian’. So that’s a little better. But still – the reason I love that name and nickname. Right there, in all its horrifying cheesy glory. I couldn’t believe it. I guess it’s better than naming her Nomi (I felt nasty just having to look up the spelling of THAT one – need to Lysol my monitor later). And I do enjoy NK’s character – she’s full of passion and loves love and has really super hair, blah blah blah. So it could be worse. But, uh, yeah. That’s apparently where I got Jelly’s middle name and nickname from. I WARNED YOU I WAS LAME!!! (or I perhaps should have, if I didn’t).
On Sunday, imagine my surprise and delight when, shopping in my new Favorite Wal-Mart Ever (FWE), I heard a familiar and catchy tune on the Muzak speakers.
It was ‘Silent Night’.
That means it’s almost CHRISTMAS!! Ok, it means the stores are way out of control because Christmas is like a million trabillion eons away still. But there’s Egg Nog in the coolers and trees in the aisles and it’s beginning to look a lot like my favorite holiday season! And Jenny’s FIRST CHRISTMAS. I am going to explode. There aren’t enough cameras in the world to capture the pictures I want to take. Must remember to slow down and actually enjoy the moments instead of just maniacally snapping away.
To further fuel my fire, my favorite consignment store threw a yule log my way with a Holiday Party last night, to thank their customers and introduce some of the mommies who do custom stuff (like monogramming and hair do-dads etc.). Jenny taught me a very, very important lesson that I will never, ever forget – do NOT, under any circumstances, no matter the situation, I repeat, DO NOT wake her up from a nap.
I think part of the problem is that she is still getting use to her new car seat, and can’t sleep in it yet. So I woke her up to go to the event and she was pissed, and couldn’t get back to sleep. Then we got to the event, and she was even more pissed. I spent 20 minutes walking around carrying an 80-lb diaper bag and an even heavier fussy angry baby throwing punches, and turned around and went home again. So much for a fun night with hors d’oeuvres and door prizes and nice mommies. Did I mention Jenny was pissed? Being put back into the car seat was the equivalent of throwing lit matches at her. She screamed, and coughed, and choked, and screamed some more, and worked herself into such a fit during the 12-minute ride home that she could not be calmed down. I tried music, and walking, and rocking, and soothing ‘shush shush’ noises, and a bottle, and saying ‘I’m sorry, I’ll never do it again’ over and over. Nothing worked. She screamed so much she threw up. All over us both. I bet you can guess whether that made her happy, or more upset. Eventually I remembered my sister’s piece of advice about a bath for a hysterical child, and tried that. She calmed down, but man, did she glower at me the whole time. I tried all my usual tricks to get her to laugh, or even smile, but she was a cold, angry customer. I got her into jammies and got her to sleep for a bit, and she eventually took another bottle and gave me a few gratuitous grins to let me know she’d consider forgiving me. That temper, boy, am I ever in trouble. I guess it's my fault for naming her after a redhead.
Friday, October 31, 2008
I TOTALLY forgot it was Halloween this morning. Me. Who LIVES for stuff like this, and loves to dress up, and go crazy for holidays (although I don’t necessarily throw crap around the house). I caught Jenny’s nasty little cold bug so have that terrific combination of head-clogged-hurts-to-swallow-can’t-think-so-weak. I felt bad because Nanny got to the house and was wearing orange and black, and Cade was dressed up, and there’s me and Jenny like lame asses in everyday wear. Poor Jenny. Thank god she’s still too young to be traumatized. Poor Nanny. I wish she knew that normally, I'm much more cool.
Since we’re sick, I have to bail on our sleepover plans, which sucks for a multitude of reasons. I was excited about scrappin’ AND now I either have to run and get candy, or hide from my neighbor kids, and I don’t want to be that person. This is like the 5th Halloween I’ve been sick, come to think of it… last year I was pregnant, a few years ago I had a terrible migraine, one year I had the flu – ‘tis the season, I guess.
It’s been COLD here the past few mornings, which is odd for NC. The frost has been beautiful though, and I’ve been sleeping like a baby. A healthy baby. Not a stuffy-nose baby who is mad she can’t breathe when she sucks her fingers. Poor Jellybean. And it frustrates me, because mama can’t make it all better for her, and all I do is torture her further with saline and nose suckage.
Sunday morning, if we feel better, we have a play date with an old friend of mine that I worked with 9 years ago. She’s had another baby since, so has a 2-year old girl that I am very excited to meet. And she’s a great person for gossiping with, so I can’t wait to catch up. Thanks, Facebook!
I hope everyone has a fun night, whatever your plans, be they parties, or handing out candy, or bolting and hiding when the doorbell rings because it scares you, or dressing in a sexy costume and trying to score so you have a story for your therapist, or wrangling multiple small monsters despite your exhaustion so that they have fun, or eating chicken soup and going to bed at 8:30, or packing for Denmark. Man, my friends' lives suck!
Monday, October 27, 2008
Saturday I got to go have a massage, and it was A W E S O M E. Seriously, I told Dre when we left that I had to go to Jarrod’s and get an engagement ring for Candace, my masseuse. I instantly booked another with her for the weekend after my next Boston trip (and before my parents arrive). Smart, huh?! Aunt Chrissy babysat her and said she did fine, so we totally need to hang with Aunt Jen some more before next month.
Sunday started off rough. Jenny had no interest in sleeping in, despite my protestations that it was a weekend. She is a cold, cruel child. She thought that repeatedly punching me in the face and giggling was a much better plan. My own damn fault for making a ‘beep’ noise whenever she touches my nose. Memo to self: Do not teach small brutish mammal anything else, ever.
So we hit the ground running at 6 am with a few loads of laundry and started making homemade baby food for the week. Then there was the cleaning. And then I broke a glass bowl and it shattered into one billion pieces so there was more cleaning, and broken glass shards in my feet all day and guilt and paranoia about crawling babies. And we went to the Triangle Mommies Trunk-or-Treat, so there were some outfit changes. Oh, and I squeezed in her 5-month photo session there as well. Did I mention I forgot to eat breakfast or lunch AND started my period that morning? We walked around at the ToT event, which Jenny seemed to enjoy (attention-seeking baby), but I was approximately the temperature of the surface of the sun in my 19-layers-of-black witch costume. And there were only like 3 other moms there dressed up! AS IF! I am a SINGLE MOTHER, people, so don’t stand in front of me and whine about how hard it is at home, not working, with your husband, and your school-age child, and your lack of a costume. And your lack of an ass in those awesome stripey leggings. Sheesh.
No, really, I am this happy and cute, despite what the whiny lady says.
So needless to say, I fell asleep sitting up on the couch at 6 pm. I was wiped. I put Jellybean to bed without a bath like the terrible mother I am, and tried to crawl into bed at 8ish.
Jenny realized instantly, at 8:17 pm, that she had a cold. Which included nasty sinus congestion that TOTALLY pissed her off. She’d sleep for 11 seconds and then try to breathe through her nose and wake up, furious at the indignity of it all. So I pulled her into bed with me, since I knew I’d be awake anyhow, and spent the night patting and generally trying unsuccessfully to soothe a very unhappy and snotty baby every ½ hour or so.
Me. Tired. Very.
Such a crappy way to start a Monday. But the pics from the photo session yesterday turned out even better than expected (Hint: I may not need to save my pennies for a professional photographer for Christmas, after all. And no, you can’t see them yet). Jelly really had fun yesterday, despite the 80’s dance party music blaring unexpectedly (which made me realize Jenny has a lot to learn about her mother’s musical leanings). I just, uh, would like some sleep, please. I’ll wash my baby, honest. Just make her feel better.
Friday, October 24, 2008
The afternoon at the fair was great. Jellybean got a lot more out of it than I ever would have imagined, but that might be because she had quite a few people adore her and smile and talk to her. She was not happy when I put her on the ‘Guess Your Weight’ scale, but went crazy when I gave her a little teensy bit of root beer. She was ambivalent about most of the animals in the barn with the exception of the cows. I don’t know how I’m going to keep one of those in my backyard when she’s older.
I ordered and received the world’s best baby bath product this week, the Kangaroo pouch. OMG I wish I’d had that like 5 months ago. It’s especially great now that it’s -32 degrees in the house – I can whip her slippery chubby tush out of the deadly tub and straight into a warm, snug, soft cuddly pocket against my chest. And it has a hood for her wet little head, so she doesn’t lose that 92% body heat that my mother always warned me about. I totally heart it. Get one if you have a baby. Now. It’s worth any price. And it’s adjustable as she gets longer! SO SMART.
Tomorrow I GET TO GO HAVE A MASSAGE! And the world rejoiced! Sunday is the Triangle Mommy Trunk-or-Treat, so we get to play dress-up, which is always awesome. Hmm, I just realized I have no idea what I’m wearing for my witch costume under the overdress from my Renn costume. Well, at least I don’t have a shortage of potential black clothes to choose from. I can’t wait to post those pics next week. And I TOTALLY need to take JR’s 5-month pics, who knows when I’ll find time to do that. I am still getting use to the idea that she’s growing up.
Monday, October 20, 2008
Strike 2 this weekend with the Big Bad Bathtub. I found another seat that is like a Transformer, and converts from baby-sits-in-water to baby-sits-upright-in-a-seat, that I thought would work. Apparently the bottom of my tub is to blame, as it was still a little skiddy. Also, it bit her in the leg. I’ve decided the builders of my house were sadists because the toilet is in the worst possible position for trying to give a kid a bath. I may have to move her cozy nest out of my bathroom tub and bathe her in there. So much work, this bath time thing! So much backache and sore knees and wet clothes and cold baby and dirty washcloths and trauma. *sigh* At least she’s being doing a great job of going to bed afterwards – she conks out after a post-bath bottle, I wait ½ hour or so til she’s dead weight, and she sleeps til 6. I actually got to read a magazine last night, and turn pages with BOTH HANDS! I know, my sister would punch me in the face since she’s got a toddler and a newborn and probably dreams of having 5 seconds to read a magazine or wipe thoroughly or eat a fig newton.
Saturday we didn’t go to the farm because it was suppose to be rainy, so we went to PetSmart with Tata and Jellybean picked out a puppy for her. Beau Diddley Dog is very sweet, although as much a burden as a baby (he can’t do steps yet so has to be carried outside at 3 am to piddle). Next weekend I was going to try to attempt a Halloween party, but since it starts at 5:30 and is 30 miles away, the math doesn’t bode well (the approaching train of bedtime hurtles towards me starting at 6 or 6:30). I am still going to try to do Trunk or Treat with the local mommies group on Sunday, though, which should be a good time. And Aunt Chrissy will watch the burden for a few hours on Saturday so I can go get a massage-school massage, which I cannot WAIT for after last week’s definite-absence-of-a-promised-massage at the spa open house. Hopefully Jenny will give Aunt C. less of a hassle than poor Aunt Jen last week.
Thursday, October 9, 2008
Things I’ve Done This Week That Aren’t Work or Blogging
Watch my baby roll over! Yes! She's so completely, totally awesome! A full back-to-front-to-back roll over! It was totally coaxed out of her by the always-fantastic Nanny, but still. It counts. She is a rockstar. The Nanny's baby was like, 'Whatever, I could do that if I wanted to, I just don't want to'. And he's three weeks older. So she gets a baby point (whatever that is).
Barfed over car seats. Booking my trip meant I started worrying again about Chunks’ next seat. The internets and every single parent on the planet implied that I would be a child abuser if I did not buy a $300+ Britax for Little Precious. She needs to recline, have a cup holder, and be able to launch missiles. I guess I should be grateful I got her travel system for such a steal, because it looks like I’m going to hit the streets and start turning tricks for her next child restraint device. What was it they used in the old-timey days? Oh, right, nothing.
Put away more of Jellybean’s 3-6 mo and summer clothes. It just made me mad this time that there were so many freakishly adorable outfits that she didn’t get to wear either because of weather or freakishly fat upper thighs. I set aside a few ‘keepers’ and was distraught to realize if I do this every time she outgrows stuff I will have to convert my guest room into a closet. But seriously, how cute were those polka-dot jammies? KEEP ‘EM-CUTE, that’s what.
Synced my cell with Outlook and uploaded Jenny’s lullabies to my phone. Because, well, you never know when you’ll just HAVE to have a copy of ‘Baby Beluga’ on stand-by. I needed it last night at Ta’s when she was Super Incredible Fussing Baby – that one little song could’ve made things so much easier, although it would have been hard to hear over Tata and her visiting parents bickering. Ah, mothers and daughters, such an emotionally fraught, nerve-wracking thing. I also backed up several laptop folders to an external hard drive, which is ALMOST like work, but since I was mostly backing up the seven trazillion pics of Jelly it doesn’t count.
Go to the dentist. My trying-to-get-pregnant hygienist still hasn’t had any luck AND the new girl cleaned my teeth with horrid cinnamon polish, so it was an all-around bad visit.
It's almost Friday, so have a nice weekend and remember - be careful out there.
Oh, and Happy Thanksgiving, crazy Canuck-style.
Friday, October 3, 2008
In DEFINITELY TMI news, I’m feeling better, which is odd because I’ve spent the past few weeks trying a million different things, and when I decide SCREW IT! and make chili for dinner, with hot sauce dribbled saucily all over it, like, ‘In your face, potential irritable bowels!’, I am FINE. It was the first meal I’ve had in weeks that wasn’t immediately ejected. How does that make sense?!!! Rice and toast = blowout, but chili sat quite nicely and pleasantly in my system until a smooth and quiet departure. I’m flummoxed. Sorry to share. Happy Friday!
Tonight is the monthly Hacker meeting, which may raise a few eyebrows, but Jelly needs to be around more dudes and it’s the perfect venue for that. We’ll go and hang out and she’ll get passed around and adored and I’ll slowly sip an overpriced watery chai drink and think about how nice it would be to be at home having a Jammy Jam. But plenty of time for that this weekend. Tomorrow Tata and The Baby and I will hit another consignment sale, and then Sunday is Clean the Closet day. I started tearing out all my winter stuff already, and have two bags of stuff to donate that I can’t believe I moved. As if I’m ever going to wear a ‘Free Winona’ t-shirt! I am forcing myself to pack away all my comfy maternity clothes, because that doesn't help anyone, but I'll miss all those stretchy waistbands and swingy tops.
In ‘Mommy is a Crazy Lady Who Shouts at People’ news, I was out yelling at neighbor kids yesterday evening. These kids, 8-10 years old or so, who live up the street, like to bike down to my end of the cul-de-sac and bounce a ball and play in the empty lot next to myself and have screaming contests. It’s lots of fun. Anywhoo, yesterday they added throwing rocks at the neighbor’s dog to the after-school adventures. I was done. I went outside and hollered, ‘You better not be tormenting that dog!’, and when they got all surly and started mumbling under their breath, I added, ‘And come get your bike out of my driveway!’, and stood there glaring with my best Teacher look. I guess they could tell I meant business, because they got on their bikes and left. I’m interested to see what they do to my house when I’m not home.
This morning, the nice men who cut my grass but don’t speak much English, showed up a week earlier than they were suppose to be scheduled. I knew it was coming, because they cut it earlier than they should have when I was last in Boston, and I refuse to pay that much to get my stupid grass cut that often. So despite the fact I was on a conference call, as soon as I heard the motor start I put the phone on mute and tore off my socks (faster than stopping and putting on shoes) and went flying outside. I realized I didn’t know the Spanish word for ‘Stop’ and shouting ‘Hola!’ just seemed weird, so I started waving my socks and lamely screaming ‘Hey there!’ When the nice man shut off the engine and cocked his head at me, like, ‘What do you want, crazy barefoot lady?’, I tried to get my point across by TAPPING MY WRIST and repeating, ‘No, too soon!’ Who knows what the hell he thought I was doing, but he eventually got my point and packed up. I really am that cheap. Hey, it’s $30! I need that money for tomorrow.
Have a great weekend, everyone!
Wednesday, October 1, 2008
She was ok all day, but as early evening approached she started to feel lousy and got a little warm. She didn’t want to sleep or eat or play, she just wanted to snuggle and suck her fingers, poor little mouse. I took her temperature again (and was much less a baby about it this time) and she was at 101.3, so I called my sister and then gave her a little Baby Tylenol (Jenny, not my sister). I knew she wasn’t feeling well because she went to sleep with a very weak struggle.
We had a huge crashing thunder/lightening storm at 3:30a, which normally would be cool but all I could think was, ‘Oh god don’t wake the baby’. She sighed a few times but stayed asleep until her usual 4a. I did not get up though, and she fitfully slept until 6 and then started to howl, and I figured that was more reasonable than 4 so I should go get her. She was still warm, so I gave her a little more Tylenol and pulled the hot baby into bed with me, with the fan on. She slept a little bit longer, and was feeling better by the time we got up at 7:30. She’s at Nanny’s today so I hope she is doing alright.
Monday, September 29, 2008
It's hard to believe it's almost October. JJ has to go for her shots tomorrow and it makes me sick to my stomach to think how unhappy she's going to be. I'm going to ask the doctor about starting her on solids (gave her a teensy bit of applesauce last night and I thought she was going to get up and walk into the kitchen to find her own spoon) and about her sleeping pattern. I've dropped the 11pm feeding so that she goes into her crib at 9p (unhappily - we play 'rock the baby til she falls asleep, put her in her crib, she sleeps for 10-15 minutes then wakes up SCREAMING BLOODY MURDER because she's so ticked off she's not being held, so pick up the baby and rock her some more, repeat 10 times') and sleeps til 5a - but I think I need to let her fall back asleep instead of rushing in to get her. She's still tired and obviously isn't starving. Gawd, that would be so awesome, if I could sleep from like 10:30 til 6:30. Mmmmm... delicious elusive sleep.
I am still totally in awe of her, I realized yesterday. I was watching her sleep, and despite the calendar (and the c-section scar), still cannot believe she's here, and she's mine, and she's becoming a little person. Her new trick this weekend was to 'fake cough'. There are more clothes that she's outgrown that have to be packed away. I have to start looking for a new car seat. She's just plain awesome.
Thursday, September 25, 2008
For lunch I made steamy hot creamy tomato-basil soup and perfect OCD grilled cheese for me and Nanny. Yes, you read that right – grilled cheese is another victim to my arbitrary rules. The bread must be pre-treated in warm melty butter before it is cooked, and you have to use AT LEAST 1 ½ Kraft Singles (no other cheese, EVER, I don’t go in for those hippie foccacia-and-gruyere bastardizations), and, of course, the sandwich must be sliced into gooey triangles. It totally hit the spot washed down with a tall cool glass of grape Kool-Aid.
I’m wearing fuzzy pink socks from Aunt Bev. And a fuzzy pink hoodie sweatshirt. And I did more work in the first 2 hours of the day than I have all week. It’s weird, because I remember the cold weather seasons as being the times that were hardest to get out of bed, most difficult to stay awake for. Not so. I slept a little better, and have energy to think about cooking Grandma’s stew or Cincinnati chili for dinner, and am eagerly anticipating getting my hands on that soft warm baby again for some evening TV and hot chocolate. Last night we rocked on the porch for a bottle feeding and heard the geese pass overhead, and I told her, ‘Listen, they’re Canadians, like you!’
I just may be a Northerner.
October is almost here, and that means the Fair, and the Harvest Festival, and Halloween. It means 9 million varieties of apples at the Farmer’s Market, all available for tasting for people like me who have to have their apples crispy and sweet-sharp, perfect for frying with onions and bratwurst or slicing into golden pies or nibbling with mild cheddar. October means Thanksgiving is just around the corner, and family and turkey. And putting up The Christmas Tree.
Just 3 months from today. Happy September 25!
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
Me, I’m not doing so hot. I was glad I had a phlebitis follow-up appointment yesterday, because Sunday morning I went to pick up Jenny in the carseat to go to the Farmer’s Market and almost passed out. I wisely decided to go lay down for a few hours with her instead. Despite the fact that the littlest angel has done so well with sleeping, I am waking up more than when she was a newborn. With headaches, in the middle of the night. And it’s going on three weeks that I’ve, uh, had some stomach flu-ish issues. So I’m weak and rundown and of course not eating properly and my leg aches etc. etc. I’m a big baby, yes, I know. So the doctor advised me to stop taking the anti-inflammatories for a week (despite the fact he also PRESCRIBED me some), and stop taking the Seasonique, and did some blood work, and we’ll see what happens. I’m also on a nice bland diet and a regimen of vitamins and Pedialyte (the most disgusting beverage in the world – I add Kool Aid singles to it like the grown-up I am). I am going to go ahead and move Jelly into the nursery in the hopes that will help with the sleep, because I really think that’s a big part of it.
Oh, and I got the flu shot for the first time ever. Dr. Jones (isn’t that great?! That’s my new local doctor!) guilted me into it with all the ‘baby this’ and ‘baby that’ talk. I would be very unhappy if I gave Jellybean the flu, so I gave in.
In more ‘I’ve Given Up’ news, I have started making meals that have the word ‘Easy’ or ‘Kid-Friendly’ preceding them, and call for ingredients like Velveeta and frozen hash browns. Dude, seriously, my window for making AND eating dinner is like 30 minutes, tops. I totally feel like a quitter though – I made the Parents Magazine Easy Southwestern Frittata (yes, the opposite of bland, I know, I’m not doing so well with the diet) and it took like 15 minutes and was damn tasty. Don’t judge me. You know you’d love a bite of tasty frittata with hash browns and turkey sausage and egg beaters. And leftovers made a great breakfast sandwich. *sob* My book is going to be called ‘Going from Ouzo Chicken With Orzo to Spam Meatloaf in One Pregnancy’.
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
Things That Irritate Me This Week
The Vineyard’s Tuesday dinner hours
Things That Are Awesome This Week
The weather in Boston
A new season of ‘House’
Starbucks in the morning
21 hours of sleep so far!
Tomorrow I see Lex/Princess Chunks/Pudge/Jellybean
If you count Sunday as the first day of the week, which some crazy people do, I would also include ‘Lake Jordan’ in things that were totally awesome this week. It was very much a ‘glass-in-the-eye’/’rollercoaster’ type of week, starting with spending time in the Wake Med ER because I apparently have stupid phlebitis (but, thankfully, not a blood clot that is going to rip free and go traveling and kill me on an American Airlines flight) and continuing with a terrific day at Jordan Lake with SPOT (Single Parents of the Triangle). Then I had to go to Boston, which kinda sucks, but is kinda totally awesome because I’ve caught up on my sleep and had some great meals and the weather is GORGEOUS and Monday is the First Day of Autumn! And I think that brings us up-to-date.
Sarah Palin = Book-burner
Casey Anthony = Sociopath
Phlebitis = Ouchy
The Vineyard = Closed on Tuesdays
Work = Just not into it
Weather = 69 degrees, my ideal temperature
'House' = Poor, poor Wilson
Starbucks = Perfect breakfast - Pumpkin Spice Latte and a slice of Pumpkin Loaf
Sleep = Needed it SO bad, so glorious
Jelly = MISS HER, want to squeeze
Thursday, September 11, 2008
I guess you do get smarter with age, because I wisely gave up swinging at the 5-am-beeping-alarm and climbed down off the radically tilting ladder, called up Tata, and went and borrowed her much more stable aluminum (or ‘aluminium’ if you’re Loud) ladder. Stupid vaulted ceilings. Stupid Mr. Shaky. I NEED TO GET RID OF IT. Before it sneaks into the house in the middle of the night and falls over on me.
The legal appointment went well, although thank god young Heyward (his real name, seriously) wasn’t in the room when I started reviewing the documents, because I tittered when I saw myself described as the ‘testatrix’. So awesome. The Testatrix. It’s like the perfect mix of dirty words and actions. Yes, I am a 14-year old boy and an idiot. I definitely need to get a fireproof safe that I can instantly lose the combination to.
I ended up taking Jilly to the doctor’s yesterday, despite the fact I could have written down word for word everything he said in advance of the visit. Yes, I’m doing everything I can. No, she’s quite obviously not wasting away from malnutrition and lack of love. Yes, she is the cutest baby in the whole wide world.
The gloomy weather continues, which is not very conducive to staying awake at my desk. I am spending my days propped up by a tonic of Red Bull, Pepsi, and Sweet Tea (no, not mixed together, that’s just gross). The Bean did a little better in her crib last night but is still totally pissed off at being ejected from the nice cozy bassinette. I got to see real tears last night, which ripped a little hole in my grotesquely sappy new-mother heart. It’s apparently much, much easier when it’s not your kid, who knew?
Tuesday, September 9, 2008
My dental hygienist, D., who is about the sweetest person I know and has a perfect smile (duh), has been trying to get pregnant for several years now with her equally precious husband. She and my dentist, a single mom, were shocked and amazed when they heard the details of Jenny’s conception, and jumped on the supportive bandwagon immediately. The past few months D. has been going through IVF and fertility treatments, and it’s been agonizing to watch. She’s younger than me (early 30’s) and in otherwise perfect health. At my August visit she was excited because they had 5 viable eggs that looked good, and I was hopeful right along with her. Yesterday she popped in to the exam room to tell me the attempt had failed, and that they’d try again in October. I told her the story of Jellybean barfing on me, and as soon as it was out of my mouth realized how stupid I was.
I’ve become one of those people.
Worse than a Smug Married, I’m a Smug Mother. Despite being single and despite the statistics, I was able to conceive in the quiet and comfort of my own house, free of charge. There were no doctors or shots co-pays. And I got Jelly. D. should have slapped me. I knew the mistake I’d made as soon as I saw her face. Despite her sympathetic laugh, I knew that look all too well. That look said, ‘Don’t you know I would love to have a baby throw up on me? Don’t you understand that I would cherish those missed hours of sleep, delight in those diaper changes? Don’t you see me, going through pain and hope and disappointment and anger and despair, and preparing to do it all over again, and again, to have that burden you bear?’
And there’s no guarantee it will work. She has no way of knowing if months or years of trying will give her the baby she so desperately wants. What if I had not been successful when I was? What if the house situation had fallen apart earlier and faster and I’d moved out and lost my chance? Yes, I’d have my savings account back, but so what? True, I would be caught up on the new movie releases, but who cares?
I need to be grateful every single day. When she’s sick, when I’m sick, when I’m broke, when I’m tired, when I have to leave her to go to Boston, when I’m missing out on ‘firsts’ because she’s with Nanny. Big deal. I HAVE her.
Monday, September 8, 2008
So Jenny and I are obviously still under the weather, and I didn’t realize how bad I was until I was taking my first rectal temperature (hers, not mine) and got all dizzy and nauseous. Surprise, surprise, I had a fever also. But life must go on, so I still did the requisite 80 loads of laundry and bottle-washing and got unpacked from the evil trip and cleaned the house etc. etc. And that brings us back to Monday, and being exhausted at work. Seriously, I know that people do this all the time and with less help, but really? Again, thank sweet 8-lb little baby Jesus that Beaner is such a good baby. It makes it extra-sad that she has continued to be sunny and good-natured despite the constant poo-splosions and lack of sleep. SUCH A GOOD BABY. Please, someone make a note to remind me of this when she’s two. And twelve. And sixteen. Oh, and I cried when I took her temperature. Yes, I really am that much of a wuss. I found it to be exceedingly traumatic. I guess I just don’t think it’s right to put something in someone else’s bum without their express permission, no matter how hysterical they seem to think it is or that it is for their own good.
And I also have to go to the dentist this afternoon. Icing on the cake, baby.
Hopefully everyone out there in the internets is having a barf-and-poo –free day. Fingers crossed for my Jenny to get better very, very soon.
Friday, September 5, 2008
I made it. Jenny made it. The majority of the rest of the world made it. Hallelujah.
Jellybean seems to be feeling ok. Not because she got a lot of sleep, because boy howdy, she did NOT want to go to bed last night. From 9p-12a she was wriggly and chatty and kept making faces at me to try and crack me up. I'm so easy. And then she woke up at 5:30a, a time I shall henceforth refer to as 'Praying for the Sweet Release of Death'. But it's Friday, so I can deal.
I am still on a high from setting up my new wireless network yesterday. Easy peasy, lemon cheesy. I feel like I have so much more control since it wasn’t set up by Loud, who does god-knows-what to networks. Plus I could rename it, so it cracks me up when I’m working and I have an excellent connection to ‘Jellybean’. I even got the Tivo server working again, which had decided it was unhappy for no good reason about the Vonage router going away. I emailed my boss to see if I could expense the new router, but didn’t hear back, which is never a good sign. Ah, well, I tried. Next step is to tackle my stupid printer, which I managed to connect to the network but will still not print wirelessly nor network scan. But at least everything went smoothly and I understood what was going on, and it’s very space-agey-looking, which is nice.
Hannah, huh? As if we need a hurricane this weekend. Not that I care, because I can’t go out and spend money like I normally do on Saturdays, and Sunday was already pre-booked as Jammie Jam. Don’t know about Jammie Jam? That is when you spend an extended amount of time in your pajamas, either late into the day or starting very early in the evening, or sometimes all day, and have poor eating habits and become one with the couch and watch an inordinate amount of ‘Law and Order’ (any flavor) while snuggling your favorite baby. And also you pretend there is no such thing as ‘laundry’ or ‘vaccuming’ or 'Monday'.
Thursday, September 4, 2008
Jenny apparently picked up a bug or virus or something this past weekend, and has had a fever and some eating problems and some disgusting poo-ing issues (I don’t think that ‘mucous’ and ‘poo’ belong in the same sentence together, EVER). And some sleeping issues. She wanted to wake up at 2:30a and 5:30a and I did not, so we had a difference of opinion. Plus then she was awake from 5:30a until EXACTLY 10 minutes before I had to get up. Barf.
So, yeah, the Cincinnati trip. Well, Beaner was a rockstar. We did all the right things like changing diapers right before boarding and either eating or having a pacifier during takeoff and landing, and otherwise she just slept. It was a lot more work than business travel, however, lugging that stroller etc. through the x-ray machine and juggling a baby. No, no one offered to help. Stupid strangers.
The next morning was brunch with the family, which was greasy but fine (the brunch, not the family), and then there was some confusion because my mom and brother and sister went shopping while I sat at my Grandmother’s with The Bean and my father for a few hours. So I didn’t get to spend any time with my youngest sister, who I hadn’t seen in a year. So that blew. Although my dad spent a few minutes with Jelly that were really super-cute, and of course my Grandmother LOVED it.
Dinner that evening was exactly what I didn’t want – more noise and heat and chaos. I was planning to meet my Top 3 favorite cousins for a nice quiet dinner, but everyone ended up deciding to come, so there were 21 of us. Yep, twenty-one. Again, nice to see my family, but I was so maxed out on stress and lack of sleep (did I mention the couch?) and couldn’t drink like everyone else (baby + afraid of triggering another migraine) that it was not a fun evening. I have pledged to be much nicer to teetotalers from now on.
So now I’m just counting down the hours til the weekend when Jenny and I can get some quality rest and extended jammie time, and I’m going to start worrying about how to cope with Christmas.
Tuesday, September 2, 2008
Thursday, August 28, 2008
Since we’re talking about it, I suppose some of you would be interested in knowing how dinner went last night. DELICIOUS, of course!! I was a little embarrassed because I ordered spring rolls and ate them before Quiet even got there, and I only arrived 7 minutes before him. But yes, another great meal. Oh, and I suppose you want to know how things went with Quiet? Well, it was AWESOME to see him He looks great, and I know he’s working hard to cook healthy vegetarian meals and stomp around on his Wii Fit (I’m telling you, everyone has one but me), so, go him! It was admittedly a little bit awkward, kind of like first-date-nervousness, because I hadn’t seen him in so long and wasn’t too sure if there were taboo topics or how things would be. But he seemed pretty cool about everything, which was a relief. I think it’s important to keep that communication no matter what, so I’m hoping we can meet up again in a few months. It’s funny because everyone else is like, ‘So is it weird, seeing your baby daddy?’ and I’m like, ‘Huh?! Who? Where?!’, because I really don’t even think of it like that. Quiet is just, well, Quiet, my ol’ pal who helped me out with a favor. I don’t even think of him when I look at Jellybean. It’s ludicrous to think that he’s someone’s father, especially in the context of MY baby, who is mine and mine alone! Hopefully he feels the same – that he can look at pictures of the Bean and think, ‘Aw, that’s a cute baby that she had all by herself, how nice for her’.
And he’s going to post his Bean Burrito recipe for me, so that’s exciting to look forward to.
And thanks again to Cousin J, awesome babysitter to the stars, who did her best to play with sleepy Bean and try to keep her awake. And I didn't even leave her pizza money or anything, I'm such a bad mother.
Only TWO DAYS til we rock the ‘Nati!
Wednesday, August 27, 2008
My best guess is that Jenny is still messed up from being away for a week and being sick. Also, I made the critical mistake in thinking that because she slept well in the crib for a nap, she’d do ok for the long haul. No dice. Every two hours last night. Literally. It was like back in the newborn days, only I was totally unprepared so it was like a slap in the face with a cold bass every time she woke up. And by ‘bass’ I mean fish, not musical instrument. Although, both would apply.
So I’ve got this ridiculously crazy week of work and am headed for the long weekend, in which I have to fly with a three month old, on a low reserve of the good stuff. I think I need to go back to my pregnancy plan of napping during my lunch break or else I’m going to crash. I already ended up with a migraine Monday night and do NOT want a repeat of that. Luckily the delicious prescription Ibuprofen I have squirreled away from my c-section surgery took care of it, but it was still a few hours for relief. During which time I was exceedingly grateful that the Bean is such a quiet, easy child, as I limply lay on the couch wishing for death and she happily watched The Big Black Box That Often Has Loud Moving Pictures but Only Seems to Show Law and Order Episodes.
So tonight I am having dinner with Quiet, which I am really looking forward to. It’s been like a gazillion years since I’ve seen him (just after I moved into the house in March, I think) and he’s always a good one for the gossiping. Plus we’re going to my favorite Thai place. Cousin J is going to watch out for Little Rotten, who is apparently good as gold and sleeps for days when she is with anybody else so things should go smoothly. Then tomorrow is lunch with the girls, and then it’s Friday, and then we leave! Argh! Don’t get me wrong, I am delirious with excitement about getting to see all my family and show off the baby. Just a little stressed about the trip itself. There are only so many times I can re-read Delta’s website.
I'm not this cute at 2 am
Thursday, August 21, 2008
Tata not only got poo on her shirt last night, Jenny jetted all over her bed (soaking through a onesie, jammies, down comforter, sheets, etc.). She must really like her.
Last night I drowned my sorrows at a totally awesome vineyard, Nashoba Valley Winery. No, seriously, it was unbelievable. We did the fixed price menu, which was $45 for three courses and included a different glass of wine with each course. The most awesome-est was the Strawberry Rhubarb. Mmmmm… pie wine. My coworker has promised to send me monthly shipments. The food was fantastic as well. I always get a little excited when the chef sends out a complementary amuse bouche. Here's a picture so you know where to go for my wedding reception.
The vineyard. Freakin' gorgeous.
The previous night’s theme, however, was apparently ‘White Trash’, and, sad to say, it was not as exciting as I had hoped. I decided to give in to my KFC craving and went all-out, and boy, was it disappointing. The local chicken establishment must not move a lot of original recipe poultry parts, since the pieces I got were dry and pitiful. There was not a drip of grease to be found. The potatoes tasted funny, the slaw was soupy, and I decided to not even attempt the biscuit. Plus the MSG-riddled flesh kept me awake an extra hour than I would have liked.
I found the local liquor store!! It’s really super shady and seedy, in a lousy part of town in a crappy strip mall in a terrible neighborhood. I actually considered taking my laptop into the store with me because guys sitting in their cars were eyeballing me. I panicked and bought whatever was sitting at the cash register in a mini bottle, which ended up being several varieties of berry Pucker, a white chocolate Godiva, and a Skyy Lemonade vodka. I literally skipped out to the car, I was so excited. My next trip I have decided I am going to get a bottle of olives and some vermouth and a really good vodka and have dirty martinis every night. Too bad the hotel doesn’t have a blender.
My sister finally released long-awaited pics of the heir to the throne, and boy, is he a cute one. He is a perfect mix of his father, his sister, and his own person. In one picture he even looks a little bit like my Jenny. All these dark-haired babies! He’s a big one, too. I am worried that some of the sleepers I’ve picked up won’t even fit him now. I should have known better and bought GL (Giraffe Linebacker) sizes. I can’t wait to see him. It kills me that it will be 4 months and he’ll be a totally different person.
At some point I should post on what a crazy week this has been for having long-forgotten people get in touch with me (my ex-boyfriend from like 5 years ago! my friend Dana from like 8 years ago!) but I've taken up too much of your precious interweb time already. No post tomorrow, I'll be traveling (huzzah!), so have a good weekend.