I really don't think it's a matter of too many balls in the air; honestly, in my case I think it's just plain ol' crappy time management. Sure, I work and have a Bean, but lots of people do that and manage to stay ahead of the game. Allow me to provide a breakdown of my basic problem; work stresses me out, and so I put stuff off. This of course only results in more stress, and then when I could/should be doing other stuff, I'm playing catch up. Or doing even more non-work stuff to reward myself for coping with all the stress that I've totally created for myself. I procrastinate with the housework too, putting things away halfway (like, the laundry makes it out of the dryer and into my bedroom, but somehow always ends up on the floor at the foot of my bed in a heap). I start projects and don't finish them (ahem, playroom). My freezer is filled with unappealing leftovers. I open my mail, then leave it in random places around the house; unpaid bills, angry letters about my unkempt lawn from my HOA, reminders to renew things, the extremely important paperwork for Jenny's first dental appointment.
I didn't use to be like this. I'm an organizer at heart, a project manager. I delight in list-making, the sense of accomplishment in a task completed. So what's the deal? Is it a lack of motivation? Depression? Lousy diet of Sour Cream & Onion chips and orange soda, therefore no energy or brain power? I dunno. But let me tell you, I just got off the phone with the entertainment for JR's 2nd Birthday Party Extravaganza, and I had totally forgotten to send the deposit. Therefore, they had cancelled the booking. Gulp. Luckily, the nice man on the phone either desperately needed my money or just did not want to hear me cry anymore, so the day has been saved. But really, as if?!
Yes, it's true that I am at this moment writing to my blog and all you lovely devoted readers instead of, well, working or emptying the dishwasher or making a nutritious lunch. And that just further proves my point; I should be calling the lawn guy, or picking up toys, or actually bathing for once (as Jenny's talking improves hourly I dread the day she calls me 'Stinky Mama'). I should be taking out the recycling, renewing our library books, scheduling haircuts. But it seems my get-up-and-go is gone. I've got no gumption. Can I blame the weather or the season or something? What the heck is up?! Can someone share their secret to motivating themselves, or at least tell me that I'm not the only one who just doesn't care about much right now?*
The only one in this house who has her shit together. The future's so bright, Jellybean has to wear shades. To make popcorn.
*That's obviously outside of the above adorable small person, who is now experimenting with 2-word sentences to document her every mood and action ('I awake!', 'Jenny help', 'Song Wheels?' - the above was a 'Me, cheese!' so that I would take her picture). And the playroom plan has backfired in a horrible way - not only does she not want to play in it by herself, she's so excited that she's waking up even earlier. Seriously, yo, this was not how this was suppose to go down.
2 weeks ago