Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Falling Through the Cracks

I really don't think it's a matter of too many balls in the air; honestly, in my case I think it's just plain ol' crappy time management. Sure, I work and have a Bean, but lots of people do that and manage to stay ahead of the game. Allow me to provide a breakdown of my basic problem; work stresses me out, and so I put stuff off. This of course only results in more stress, and then when I could/should be doing other stuff, I'm playing catch up. Or doing even more non-work stuff to reward myself for coping with all the stress that I've totally created for myself. I procrastinate with the housework too, putting things away halfway (like, the laundry makes it out of the dryer and into my bedroom, but somehow always ends up on the floor at the foot of my bed in a heap). I start projects and don't finish them (ahem, playroom). My freezer is filled with unappealing leftovers. I open my mail, then leave it in random places around the house; unpaid bills, angry letters about my unkempt lawn from my HOA, reminders to renew things, the extremely important paperwork for Jenny's first dental appointment.

I didn't use to be like this. I'm an organizer at heart, a project manager. I delight in list-making, the sense of accomplishment in a task completed. So what's the deal? Is it a lack of motivation? Depression? Lousy diet of Sour Cream & Onion chips and orange soda, therefore no energy or brain power? I dunno. But let me tell you, I just got off the phone with the entertainment for JR's 2nd Birthday Party Extravaganza, and I had totally forgotten to send the deposit. Therefore, they had cancelled the booking. Gulp. Luckily, the nice man on the phone either desperately needed my money or just did not want to hear me cry anymore, so the day has been saved. But really, as if?!

Yes, it's true that I am at this moment writing to my blog and all you lovely devoted readers instead of, well, working or emptying the dishwasher or making a nutritious lunch. And that just further proves my point; I should be calling the lawn guy, or picking up toys, or actually bathing for once (as Jenny's talking improves hourly I dread the day she calls me 'Stinky Mama'). I should be taking out the recycling, renewing our library books, scheduling haircuts. But it seems my get-up-and-go is gone. I've got no gumption. Can I blame the weather or the season or something? What the heck is up?! Can someone share their secret to motivating themselves, or at least tell me that I'm not the only one who just doesn't care about much right now?*

The only one in this house who has her shit together. The future's so bright, Jellybean has to wear shades. To make popcorn.

*That's obviously outside of the above adorable small person, who is now experimenting with 2-word sentences to document her every mood and action ('I awake!', 'Jenny help', 'Song Wheels?' - the above was a 'Me, cheese!' so that I would take her picture). And the playroom plan has backfired in a horrible way - not only does she not want to play in it by herself, she's so excited that she's waking up even earlier. Seriously, yo, this was not how this was suppose to go down.


MommieV said...

I walked into my class this morning and told my students they don't have to take their final exam if they don't want to. I'm so far behind, and instead of catching up, I wrote in my blog. So I'm right there too. Maybe it's the axis of the earth right now or something.

Random question: What kind of step-thingy is she on in that photo?

Laraf123 said...

Oh,yes. I'm so far behind and buried under post-its scribbled with things to do. I can't keep up and it's driving me mad--at work and home! I like the idea of blaming this sad state of affairs on the season or tilt of the Earth! Thanks for sharing!

Jellybean Mama said...

Tilt of the earth, perfect! You both made me feel better, thank you.

I LOVE the little step-stool she's standing on - it's the Rubbermaid Folding Step Stool. They're at like Target and Home Depot. It's very light-weight, so she can push it all around the kitchen, and has no-skid feet (very secure) PLUS holds up to 300 lbs. So it could hold 3 of me (hahahahaha! I'm very funny today). It's the perfect height for hand-washing etc.. HIGHLY recommend it.

Rector Funhouse said...

I am suffering from the same problem. I like to think that there's an external cause (illness) because the alternative is too hopeless.

Although I do think that at a certain point, you just get burnt-out. How many times can you run the hamster wheel before you finally say, "F this, I'm just going to lay down on the floor and stare at the ceiling instead of emptying the soul-destroying laundry basket ONE MORE TIME!"

And clearly, we had children too late and so got completely spoiled and therefore expect life to be decent instead of just something to be endured.

Let me know if you find any solutions. Other than finding your smile by going on an insane cattle drive ...

chris said...

There's two adults in my house and the laundry still doesn't make it from the "clean basket" to the drawers, the mail is scattered on whatever surface is closest and meals, well, good intentions are not very nutritious.

Truth is, at this age, these little humans take a lot out of us especially when they are little stubborn, opinionated terrors. However, if a little organization helps you stay sane (which is the case for me) I think it's worth working on the little things.

My solution so far has been to adopt one little change that takes but a few seconds and follow through with it every day until it becomes habit. Then select another thing and do the same. My first one was rolling the cord around the hairdryer and putting it in a drawer. It's simple and stupid but mid-day it drove me crazy because the cord was dangling on the floor. Once i didn't give a second thought to doing that I moved onto the next one.

Stephanie said...

Um...let's see. I bought a clothesline so I could stop using the dryer so much. It's a gorgeous day, there's clean, wet laundry in the washer and the line is installed. But there's no laundry on it.

I also got a second letter from my mortgage company today telling me I didn't have homeowners insurance...I found the first letter buried in the bottom of the trash in my car.

Dude, I hear you. I don't get how my grandma's generation had it so together. I think it was the valium.