Weekend Update with Jellybean Mama

I'd like this one, please. And a spoon.

Phew! That pretty much sums it up. We had a rocky start to the weekend with the introduction of peas, which for Jellybean have the magical power of turning poo to stone. So then we moved on to prunes, which have the magical power of making poo shoot all over the changing table the very instant I bend over to throw out a diaper. So then, always a sucker for punishment, I decided to also introduce pumpkin, which had the magical power of making me wish I was dead because it was so much damn work. But I finally roasted a pumpkin! After years of buying them and swearing I would make totally-from-scratch pumpkin pie, or that soup you serve in the pumpkin shell… yes, pumpkin was my eggplant ( you know, something you buy over and over and just stare at and eventually throw out without touching; like persimmons). Anyhow, yes, finally did it. So I took a damn picture because I was so freaking proud of myself.

Yeah, I really do think I'm all that.

Saturday I got to go have a massage, and it was A W E S O M E. Seriously, I told Dre when we left that I had to go to Jarrod’s and get an engagement ring for Candace, my masseuse. I instantly booked another with her for the weekend after my next Boston trip (and before my parents arrive). Smart, huh?! Aunt Chrissy babysat her and said she did fine, so we totally need to hang with Aunt Jen some more before next month.

Sunday started off rough. Jenny had no interest in sleeping in, despite my protestations that it was a weekend. She is a cold, cruel child. She thought that repeatedly punching me in the face and giggling was a much better plan. My own damn fault for making a ‘beep’ noise whenever she touches my nose. Memo to self: Do not teach small brutish mammal anything else, ever.
So we hit the ground running at 6 am with a few loads of laundry and started making homemade baby food for the week. Then there was the cleaning. And then I broke a glass bowl and it shattered into one billion pieces so there was more cleaning, and broken glass shards in my feet all day and guilt and paranoia about crawling babies. And we went to the Triangle Mommies Trunk-or-Treat, so there were some outfit changes. Oh, and I squeezed in her 5-month photo session there as well. Did I mention I forgot to eat breakfast or lunch AND started my period that morning? We walked around at the ToT event, which Jenny seemed to enjoy (attention-seeking baby), but I was approximately the temperature of the surface of the sun in my 19-layers-of-black witch costume. And there were only like 3 other moms there dressed up! AS IF! I am a SINGLE MOTHER, people, so don’t stand in front of me and whine about how hard it is at home, not working, with your husband, and your school-age child, and your lack of a costume. And your lack of an ass in those awesome stripey leggings. Sheesh.

No, really, I am this happy and cute, despite what the whiny lady says.

So needless to say, I fell asleep sitting up on the couch at 6 pm. I was wiped. I put Jellybean to bed without a bath like the terrible mother I am, and tried to crawl into bed at 8ish.

HOWEVER…

Jenny realized instantly, at 8:17 pm, that she had a cold. Which included nasty sinus congestion that TOTALLY pissed her off. She’d sleep for 11 seconds and then try to breathe through her nose and wake up, furious at the indignity of it all. So I pulled her into bed with me, since I knew I’d be awake anyhow, and spent the night patting and generally trying unsuccessfully to soothe a very unhappy and snotty baby every ½ hour or so.

Me. Tired. Very.

Such a crappy way to start a Monday. But the pics from the photo session yesterday turned out even better than expected (Hint: I may not need to save my pennies for a professional photographer for Christmas, after all. And no, you can’t see them yet). Jelly really had fun yesterday, despite the 80’s dance party music blaring unexpectedly (which made me realize Jenny has a lot to learn about her mother’s musical leanings). I just, uh, would like some sleep, please. I’ll wash my baby, honest. Just make her feel better.