Bats, Babies, Burritos and Bag Blogs

Jenny acts like she wants to help cook dinner, but she really just wants to lick all my spatulas

Firstly, I finally watched 'The Dark Knight'. I agree with probably everybody, as far as how awesome Heath's performance was (what am I saying? there's no way that was Heath!) and how dark and cool it was, and well-written and directed blah blah blah. However, I think the best thing about it was the message. Batman has always been my favorite, which I'm pretty sure I've blogged about in the past. No Spiderman or Superman ridiculousness for me. And this movie nails exactly why Batman is the best - because he's not a hero, and doesn't have super-powers, and doesn't make the easy choices. I cried like a baby at the ending, despite hotty Christian Bale's somewhat silly raspy growling and the distracting Gyllenhaal gal. It was a bit of a commitment at 2 1/2 hours, but well worth it.

Secondly - SWIM LESSONS SATURDAY! Can't wait. I finally got the Little Swimmers or Little Splasher or Baby Please Don't Get Your Pee All In Our Pool or whatever they're called, as well as a little terry-cloth cover-up. Now I just need to lose 100 lbs in two days and we're set!

Thirdly, Jelly's tooth FINALLY came out. I think Nanny might have punched her, but if it ended everyone's suffering that's fine by me. She slept through the night for the first time in weeks, and is a much happier Jellybean in general. Teething blows, dude. I'm going to have that put on a t-shirt.

Fourthly, I made fajitas last night and have decided I'm not cooking a real meal again until Jenny goes to kindergarten or I win the lottery and get a maid. It took me 45 minutes to prep and cook everything (with Jenny making that whiny 'eh-eh-eh' noise the entire time), 3 minutes to eat (I bolted down 1/2 my food while feeding the Gaping Mouth of Starvation), then 45 minutes to clean everything up after I got Jenny bathed, bottled, and down for the night. Yes, I would like to receive some sort of medal, if only for Participation. It was exhausting. But lunch today - Fajita Burrito! For dinner tonight I plan to open a can of tuna and squirt a packet of mayo in it and eat it out of the can with a fork. Which reminds me that I had planned today's post to be 'Reasons I'm a Terrible Mother This Week', since I spilled Chick-Fil-A all over Jenny's legal paperwork in the car yesterday. Eh, tomorrow is another day and I'm sure I'll do something horrid later today to add to the list.

Lastly, I am entering my first BLOG GIVEAWAY! Ta-da! It's all very exciting. A fellow Choice Single Mom has a gorgeous black bag that some lucky blogger will win. I need to answer a seemingly simple question - What would I put in this purse?

The answer is very easy:

For the past 8 months I have given up my selection of cute, tiny little bags for a serviceable, enormous, ugly, bulky, 94-lb diaper bag. I tried cute diaper bags and smaller diaper bags, but I really needed something with eleventy-seven pockets that could hold an emergency bouncy seat. I have a love/hate relationship with it.

If I had this gorgeous, come-hither purse, it would be for mama only. Obviously it would have to hold my wallet, but it would not have any Pampers coupons or Gerber buy-85-get-one-free coupons or Target receipts from the past 47 years. There would be shiny, tasty lipgloss, not Burt's Bees or Chapstick. There would be gum, not teething toys, and absolutely no forgotten soggy diapers or bottles with a tablespoon of formula still in them. There would be stunning stylish sunglasses, not vaccination records, and maybe a pair of cashmere gloves that don't have spit-up or boogers or gasoline on them. I might have a Blackberry instead of a plastic phone that says 'Pretty baby!' when you press the pink button, and there would be exciting get-aways and evenings-out in the planner instead of swim lesson schedules and lawyer appointments. And did I mention there would actually be CASH in the wallet, instead of consignment store and Craigslist addresses?

Please visit my potential new purse here and show some love. But do not become too attached, because I have high expectations for it to make me feel fabulous again.