Less Debt, More Filling

Glory, glory hallelujah! No, I did not get sleep last night, it is still more elusive than the mythical ‘unicorn’ or ‘perfect man’. But I did get a call from my cousin’s coworker’s husband (get that?), who is a lawyer, and he is going to file the Termination of Parental Rights for me this November for almost HALF of what the other shyster was going to charge me. That is the best frickin’ news, since I had no idea what magic fairy was going to bestow that cash.

Since we’re talking about it, I suppose some of you would be interested in knowing how dinner went last night. DELICIOUS, of course!! I was a little embarrassed because I ordered spring rolls and ate them before Quiet even got there, and I only arrived 7 minutes before him. But yes, another great meal. Oh, and I suppose you want to know how things went with Quiet? Well, it was AWESOME to see him He looks great, and I know he’s working hard to cook healthy vegetarian meals and stomp around on his Wii Fit (I’m telling you, everyone has one but me), so, go him! It was admittedly a little bit awkward, kind of like first-date-nervousness, because I hadn’t seen him in so long and wasn’t too sure if there were taboo topics or how things would be. But he seemed pretty cool about everything, which was a relief. I think it’s important to keep that communication no matter what, so I’m hoping we can meet up again in a few months. It’s funny because everyone else is like, ‘So is it weird, seeing your baby daddy?’ and I’m like, ‘Huh?! Who? Where?!’, because I really don’t even think of it like that. Quiet is just, well, Quiet, my ol’ pal who helped me out with a favor. I don’t even think of him when I look at Jellybean. It’s ludicrous to think that he’s someone’s father, especially in the context of MY baby, who is mine and mine alone! Hopefully he feels the same – that he can look at pictures of the Bean and think, ‘Aw, that’s a cute baby that she had all by herself, how nice for her’.

And he’s going to post his Bean Burrito recipe for me, so that’s exciting to look forward to.

And thanks again to Cousin J, awesome babysitter to the stars, who did her best to play with sleepy Bean and try to keep her awake. And I didn't even leave her pizza money or anything, I'm such a bad mother.

Only TWO DAYS til we rock the ‘Nati!

Asian Sleep Torture with a side of Basil Tofu

Sorry about my lack of posting this week (and the lack of updated photos on Jellybean’s site), but it’s been a very rough sleep week. So rough that I first spelled ‘posting’ as ‘poasting’. Which would be a combination of writing to a blog while cooking a chicken, I guess.

My best guess is that Jenny is still messed up from being away for a week and being sick. Also, I made the critical mistake in thinking that because she slept well in the crib for a nap, she’d do ok for the long haul. No dice. Every two hours last night. Literally. It was like back in the newborn days, only I was totally unprepared so it was like a slap in the face with a cold bass every time she woke up. And by ‘bass’ I mean fish, not musical instrument. Although, both would apply.

So I’ve got this ridiculously crazy week of work and am headed for the long weekend, in which I have to fly with a three month old, on a low reserve of the good stuff. I think I need to go back to my pregnancy plan of napping during my lunch break or else I’m going to crash. I already ended up with a migraine Monday night and do NOT want a repeat of that. Luckily the delicious prescription Ibuprofen I have squirreled away from my c-section surgery took care of it, but it was still a few hours for relief. During which time I was exceedingly grateful that the Bean is such a quiet, easy child, as I limply lay on the couch wishing for death and she happily watched The Big Black Box That Often Has Loud Moving Pictures but Only Seems to Show Law and Order Episodes.

So tonight I am having dinner with Quiet, which I am really looking forward to. It’s been like a gazillion years since I’ve seen him (just after I moved into the house in March, I think) and he’s always a good one for the gossiping. Plus we’re going to my favorite Thai place. Cousin J is going to watch out for Little Rotten, who is apparently good as gold and sleeps for days when she is with anybody else so things should go smoothly. Then tomorrow is lunch with the girls, and then it’s Friday, and then we leave! Argh! Don’t get me wrong, I am delirious with excitement about getting to see all my family and show off the baby. Just a little stressed about the trip itself. There are only so many times I can re-read Delta’s website.

I'm not this cute at 2 am

A Better Bean, a Tragic Menu Choice, Some Happy Cocktails and a Lovely Evening

Little sickly

Beaner is better, I guess, I am still not there so am still guilt-ridden and worried about her. I know everyone is taking good care of her and she’s getting daily baths and medication and stuff, but still. Hey, 24 hours til I land back in Raleigh, that’s exciting! Her poor long-suffering
Tata not only got poo on her shirt last night, Jenny jetted all over her bed (soaking through a onesie, jammies, down comforter, sheets, etc.). She must really like her.

Last night I drowned my sorrows at a totally awesome vineyard, Nashoba Valley Winery. No, seriously, it was unbelievable. We did the fixed price menu, which was $45 for three courses and included a different glass of wine with each course. The most awesome-est was the Strawberry Rhubarb. Mmmmm… pie wine. My coworker has promised to send me monthly shipments. The food was fantastic as well. I always get a little excited when the chef sends out a complementary amuse bouche. Here's a picture so you know where to go for my wedding reception.

The vineyard. Freakin' gorgeous.

The previous night’s theme, however, was apparently ‘White Trash’, and, sad to say, it was not as exciting as I had hoped. I decided to give in to my KFC craving and went all-out, and boy, was it disappointing. The local chicken establishment must not move a lot of original recipe poultry parts, since the pieces I got were dry and pitiful. There was not a drip of grease to be found. The potatoes tasted funny, the slaw was soupy, and I decided to not even attempt the biscuit. Plus the MSG-riddled flesh kept me awake an extra hour than I would have liked.

However…

I found the local liquor store!! It’s really super shady and seedy, in a lousy part of town in a crappy strip mall in a terrible neighborhood. I actually considered taking my laptop into the store with me because guys sitting in their cars were eyeballing me. I panicked and bought whatever was sitting at the cash register in a mini bottle, which ended up being several varieties of berry Pucker, a white chocolate Godiva, and a Skyy Lemonade vodka. I literally skipped out to the car, I was so excited. My next trip I have decided I am going to get a bottle of olives and some vermouth and a really good vodka and have dirty martinis every night. Too bad the hotel doesn’t have a blender.

My sister finally released long-awaited pics of the heir to the throne, and boy, is he a cute one. He is a perfect mix of his father, his sister, and his own person. In one picture he even looks a little bit like my Jenny. All these dark-haired babies! He’s a big one, too. I am worried that some of the sleepers I’ve picked up won’t even fit him now. I should have known better and bought GL (Giraffe Linebacker) sizes. I can’t wait to see him. It kills me that it will be 4 months and he’ll be a totally different person.

Nathan Cael, 10-lb whale

At some point I should post on what a crazy week this has been for having long-forgotten people get in touch with me (my ex-boyfriend from like 5 years ago! my friend Dana from like 8 years ago!) but I've taken up too much of your precious interweb time already. No post tomorrow, I'll be traveling (huzzah!), so have a good weekend.

Jenny Gets Sick

I had a funny, lengthy post written about my dinner adventures last night and how my week is going so far, but then my baby got sick and my world fell apart.

You know what’s worse than having to watch your baby get her vaccinations?

Not being there when someone else has to rush your baby to the doctor, and she has to be catheterized. Twice, because she's kicking and screaming so much.

My poor little chubby-bottomed daughter got a yeast infection. Once again I am incredibly grateful for my heaven-sent Nanny, who noticed that Jenny was wetting a lot more frequently, had redness, and some unusual smelling urine. And called to tell me. Apparently, the wonderful sleeping Jenny has been doing this week was because she was sick, but too little to tell anybody. It breaks my heart.

Luckily I have awesome friends, and CPE took her to the doctor’s for the urine and blood tests, waited for the results, and also went and got the prescription filled so she could be started on the medicine right away. Lucky Tata gets to slather her up tonight. I owe her so much.

Ah, the joys of having a girl.

At least I’m getting all the trauma of leaving her for work travel out of the way right upfront. When she falls and breaks her arm when she’s older and I’m not home I’ll be cool as a cucumber. But in the meantime, it was an awful afternoon. Poor Bean. No Mama to comfort her.

Bright-Eyed and Bushy-Tailed

And I dress her crazy?

So I had forgotten something very, very exciting in my list of Things I Get to Do While Away This Week. Shower. You may think, ‘uh, I certainly hope you shower when you aren’t away’. Well, yes, but it’s for five seconds and I don’t have time to let the water heat up all the way and I sure as heck can’t shampoo AND condition, or use the secondary special facial scrub or SHAVE MY LEGS. All summer long people have thought I’m a dirty hippy, I’m sure. Anyhow, I was so thrilled to realize this that I took a shower right after dinner last night. Which lasted 4 minutes. The dinner, not the shower. I totally forgot that I was alone and could chew and enjoy my food, and instead bolted it down without chewing. I was so mad at myself. But it was delicious, I had Thai Tofu Basil and some spring rolls, and a Thai iced tea for dessert. I haven’t decided on dinner yet, mostly because I am still full from a tasty toasted bagel with peanut butter from my office cafeteria. Man, expense accounts ROCK.

I slept ok, I went to bed at 9 pm and was out like a light. I had the AC cranked and was buried in a pile of blankets so it was freaking awesome, but it was still a hotel so there was still some clanging and banging, and I still woke up at 4:30 and every hour thereafter listening for Jenny. I talked to Tata this morning and apparently Little Precious went to sleep at 11 pm and woke up at 7 am when Ta’s alarm went off, so they had a great night. Hopefully that will last all week, and then it will be a pattern, and she’ll do it for me too. I really think I wake her up during the night since I’m still on my pregnancy pee schedule and get up several times. I may skip the crib-in-my-room and put her right into the nursery after the Cincinnati trip.

I don’t have any pics of the nephew yet to share, but don’t worry, I called and yelled at the new parents for being so inconsiderate. Hopefully they will get some stuff posted today. They had a bit of a rough night – I guess they didn’t get the Jenny they ordered. I am keeping my fingers crossed that things settle down for them.

A Sappy Poem for Jellybean, A Good Flight, and a New Nephew

Not beating heart,
Or pulsing veins.
Not awe-struck breath,
Or mom-numbed brains.

Not sun that rises bright each morn,
Nor moon that coolly winks good-night.
Not beach that pulls the waves to shore,
Nor breeze that lifts the birds to flight.

My heart’s desire,
My pure and true;
My one thing I can’t live without:
My you.

A week of blessed sleep, and it couldn’t come at a better time. I put a plastic bag on the changing table within Jenny’s reach over the weekend and walked away. I think that might be dumber than driving drunk. Long story short, I have guaranteed my position as Worst Mother in the Entire World and barely managed not to do anything else to put her life in danger before leaving for the Boston flight this morning. No, wait, I also had her propped on my chaise while I was doing laundry and she rolled off the pillow but luckily into the arm of the chaise. So, yes, I am fired.

So this morning, boy, was that ever a happy, light-hearted farewell (is the dripping sarcasm coming across?). I briefly considered packing a pair of her little jammies in my suitcase but realized just in time what a terrible potential festival of sobbing that would be. So this morning I put on work clothes and SOCKS for the first time in five months (seriously, no socks for like seven months, it was a new world record), did my hair (look, ma, no rat’s nest!), applied a generous coating of industrial makeup (look, ma, bad skin!), and sat down to say good bye to my sweet, innocent, unknowing, barely-three-months-old baby. It was awful. I would look at her and cry. Next time I’ll know to put the makeup on at the airport AFTER I spend 15 minutes bawling in my car in the garage. I really honestly didn’t think it would feel that way. Plus, yes, I’m tired and therefore more emotional. But I know Beaner will be just fine with The Nanny and Tata. Omg, we ran into Tata at the Wal-Mart yesterday and Jenny just lit up when she saw her, it was tres cute. She likes her Tata a lot. Ok, I can't think about being away from Jenny any more, next topic.

In no-less-emotional but way-happier news, I have a new nephew!! And my sister used my second-favorite boy’s name, Nathan. I love that name. So Jenny has a new tubby cousin (10 POUNDS!! NO DRUGS!!!! CRAZY SISTER!!!) that I can’t wait to meet. It was torture, I sat in the American Airlines terminal and they kept calling a Toronto flight, I was very tempted. But, uh, I didn’t want to upset the nice lady in Boston who signs my timecards so that Jenny can be kept in the fashion she deserves. In other happy news I thought I was given a horrible haircut on Saturday because my crazy hairdresser styled it like a bowl cut, but today when I did it IT WAS AWESOME. The stewardess said something about it. So, yay.

Fridays are for Bojangle's

Many of you may have read my blog post where I went on and on about how smart I was for taking my PSP with me to the hospital when I was preparing to have The Bean. And I still stand by my guns that it WOULD have been brilliant, had I not been a crazy impatient freaked-out woman-about-to-give-birth who couldn’t focus on anything for more than 3 seconds. And then after she was born, it was in my suitcase all the way across the room and, well, I couldn’t get out of bed.

HOWEVER…

My new brilliant shiny idea is to take it with me to Boston and Cincinnati! Bear with me on this. I can load it up with Jenny pictures to share with everyone, and videos, and most importantly, I can put her lullaby mixes on it! Since it has external speakers it’s like a little baby boombox. How freakin’ fantastic is that? I’m very excited. Plus I still have a couple of games and movies on the off-chance that I will want to be doing something other than sleeping in all my spare time. Also, I learned how to trick iTunes into converting protected AAC files, so I'm feeling very tech-savvy despite the fact that it was something that probably a million people know how to do.

In other news, IT’S FRIDAY!! That means I’m out of time on all the deliverables I’m suppose to have ready to discuss with my boss on Monday, which is kind of worrisome, but I’m so happy that it’s the weekend that I’m not too bothered. Maybe I’ll work on the plane? (hahahaha)

Wednesday night cousin/Coach/Auntie J came by with her mum and bro to see Beaner and bring us delicious leftovers. It was great to see them and the free shrimp. My dinner plans continue to deteriorate as the week progresses due to the sleep issues (JR was on a WEIRD schedule last night so I’m a little spacey today), so when someone brings me food I want to cry with happiness. I spent some quality time yesterday looking online at restaurants I have never explored in MA around the hotel area, and I’m stupidly excited to be able to have hot meals next week that I’ll be able to eat with TWO hands. I know, I’ve mentioned this before, but until you have a baby you don’t understand how traumatic it is.

I hope everyone has a good weekend. Nanny and I took the kids to the park for an ill-fated picnic yesterday (I have renamed the local Jaycee park, ‘Bees and Butts’), but Jenny enjoyed the swings and got some air so it was alright. This weekend I will mostly be sitting and holding the baby while trying not to think about leaving her for a week.

The Future's So Bright

In my ongoing pursuit of digging up money from forgotten or secret hidden locations in order to avoid the poorhouse, I started the arduous task of submitting baby birthin’ claims to my Flex Spending Account. Man, do I love fighting with my insurance company. I am at the point now where I just go ahead and call Customer Service before I do anything else, since every claim I submit automatically gets rejected. I think they have me on file as a trouble maker. Anywhoo, in the process of doing this I had a little spat about an ‘estimated’ payment I made when I was checked out of the hospital. Since my insurance paid out 100%, I was told the hospital owes me the money. Well, what a shock; the hospital is quick to collect on their bills but a little slow with the refunds. So then I got to call and fight with the hospital finance department, who had apparently taken my $414 refund down to $237 for ‘late charges’. I guess my insurance company wasn’t fast enough for them. The good news is, I think I got through to at least one manager who understood me and is going to cut a check for the full amount. I expect to see that around Christmas time, which will at least come in handy then, as I will be able to finally stop making home-made formula and be able to buy the discount no-name stuff. And I’m joking. I would give up everything to ensure Junior’s happiness and well-being before all else, duh. I actually tried taking her off the sensitive formula just to see if she could hack it, but no dice. She’s just a sensitive little thing. I’m still lubing her up with lotion twice daily (two different kinds, even), and she’s still got dry little fat legs. And clammy feet. That kid is in socks when it’s 90 degrees out.

I am even more excited about my trip to Boston next week after a lunch conversation with my friend CPE. When asked, “How are you ever going to cope next week?” I responded with a flippant, “Drink”, and then went, “Ohhhhhhhhhhh!” because it dawned on me that I have a rare opportunity – a hotel, an expense account, and no baby. I CAN DRINK NEXT WEEK! Also, The Nanny set up her webcam yesterday to test it out and sent me some hilarious pics of The Bean looking totally nonplussed, so I am excited to be able to login and check on her from Boston Cube Hell.

Last night was a strange yet wonderful night as far as Ms. Jenny’s sleeping schedule. She had her usual 4 ½ oz bottle at 7 pm, but instead of going to sleep for a few hours was fussy and whiny and, eventually, screamy. That’s just not my baby, so after trying everything I offered her another bottle and, low and behold, she drank ANOTHER 4 ½ oz at 8 pm. I couldn’t believe it. The best part was, she totally sacked out til 4 am after that, and I was smart enough to see the signs this time so had gone to bed with her. I got a 7-hour stretch of sleep! Merveilleux!

It’s a dark and rainy day, so I made some oatmeal and a pot of coffee and am chugging right along. This afternoon I meet with the lawyer for the unsurprisingly depressing task of setting up my will. But only two days til the weekend!

A Time and a Place

It’s true that there is a time and a place for everything. Spiders, for example. I have always hated them and they have been my one great fear (I can deal with snakes, with other bugs, lawyers, anything, but no freaking spiders, no matter how big or small). I understand that spiders do lots of terrifically wonderful things – they catch bad bugs in their webs and, uh, I don’t know, give to several charities. However, my living room and ON MY BABY’S HEAD is not the place and never the time. The past couple weeks I have not only not been able to control the roach problem, I now also have nasty little baby biting spiders. Like, baby spiders that bite babies. They seem to love it under the Pack ‘n Play – I was bit by one between two of my toes and it was all swollen and itchy, and then when The Nanny said she’d killed a few and saw one on Jenny but got it, I totally lost my sh*t. I called a local kid-friendly Pest Control company (not ‘Bob’s Kritter Gitters’, although that would have made for an awesome story) and they are coming Friday to soak my house in chemicals or shoot lasers or something. Thank god.

The other lovely adventure I had was last night at 4 am. While smoke detectors are a necessity and save lives and possibly also give to charities, when a battery starts to die and an intermittent yet persistent shrill beeping occurs AT 4 AM, that ain’t cool. Still more proof that God hates me, since the beeping started exactly half-way between Jenny’s two feedings, during that precious time known as ‘I should be sleeping’. The best part was that the detectors are located approximately every two inches on the second floor of this house, so I couldn’t pinpoint where it was coming from. I started to panic that it was the one on my 12-foot bedroom ceiling, which would’ve meant I would have had to sleep in the guest room or downstairs or out in the cul-de-sac, and then call someone in the morning like a helpless girl to bring a ladder and rescue me. However, after fetching a stepstool and standing under 5 separate detectors over a half-hour period I located the offender. And took it down. And it still. Beeped. So I did the only sensible thing and wrapped it in a towel and put it in a dresser drawer and moved the dresser into a closet. And then lay frustrated until the Bean’s next feeding, after which she wanted to play ‘Mama I’m Wide Awake So How About I Punch You Repeatedly in Your Closed Eye’, so then we were up for the day. A-R-G-H-H. She’s lucky she’s The Cutest Baby in the Whole Entire World.

All That's Missing is the Monocle

Well, it’s a very exciting week at Jellybean Manor. Mr. Pennington the Third (that’s the first name I thought of when I looked at that ridiculous picture above of Jelly) will be THREE MONTHS OLD on Wednesday. The very thought of it is so absolutely ludicrous that I first typed ‘ONE MONTH OLD’ and didn’t even realize it. Because, seriously, we’ve managed to survive three months?! And my baby, my precious, my first and only, is in the NEXT SIZE CLOTHES?!!! While this is exciting from an omg-lookit-her-closet point of view, it’s also horridly sad. When I pack away my clothes, it is usually for the season or because I’ve changed sizes, and neither occasion calls for melancholy. Ok, so maybe some melancholy, but nothing like the degree I’m experiencing with putting away Jellybean’s coming-home-from-the-hospital outfit. Everyone is making fun of me because I have decided that I have enough storage space and enough miscellaneous stupid crap that a few more boatloads of stuff won’t even be noticed, so I get to pick 1-2 outfits for every size Junior outgrows and keep ‘em. Forever. The rest I am going to box up separately and either a.) Consign them eventually or b.) Save for my next baby HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA or c.) Wait and see if my sister has another girl.

In the meantime, I had to select a few special newborn and 0-3 month outfits. I packed away the first dress I ever bought her, an atrociously priced black-and-white gingham dress from stupid Pottery Barn Kids. I remember when I bought it, six months pregnant, hardly daring to hope that a little girl might somehow pop out of me someday and into it. I of course packed her hospital outfit, a pink baby bag and matching hat from her doting Aunt N. And I had to include the outfit my mother passed along, the dress I wore home from the hospital. And I picked a favorite pair of ‘everyday’ jammies, the ones she is wearing in the above picture. So, basically, my attic is going to look like a Gymboree. I tell myself that it will be easier if I slowly weed stuff out over the next few years, kind of like pulling the band-aid off v-e-r-y slowly, but I have a feeling it will only be more and more difficult as she continues to grow in such an irritating fashion. Thank god ‘Cat’s in the Cradle’ isn’t playing somewhere nearby right now.

In other exciting plans for the week I am heading to the dentist this afternoon, Dexter is due tomorrow, I meet with the lawyer on Wednesday to draw up my will, and I am getting my hair cut (and, hopefully, the color somehow magically fixed) on Saturday. In one week I leave for Boston. Gulp.

Shout out to Tata, back in miserable Detroit. I am going to have to get a life-sized poster made of her for Jenny, who is use to seeing her 3-4 times a week. Tata got more toys and sleepers and stuff (oh my!) in preparation for next week. I have decided to call her house Tata's Daycare and Bar. What a great concept.

Spendy Wendy needs to Stoppy Shoppy

This morning we dropped $86 at the post office on a new toy for Jenny, My First Passport. Then, after weeks of research and much debate, we sent out some email inquiries for $100-130 double strollers on Craigslist. We bought diapers on Amazon and counted formula coupons in preparation for the upcoming trips. I realized I had nothing presentable for said trips that was post-maternity-not-quite-old-clothes-weight and scraped out a handful of duds from Old Navy’s online clearance. I completed paperwork for the Dependent Care Flexible Spending Account which will cruelly remove $5000 from my next 10 paychecks but is the smart tax thing to do. And I’m ignoring the ugly $1300 anesthesia bill that is due this week because the $1572 registration fee and year of service for the Nanny Pay company will come out of my account promptly on the 25th. Not including the expanded grocery bill that now includes The Nanny or the $100 in second-hand clothes for Jenny’s carefully selected fall wardrobe, I am budget blown already and Jenny hasn’t hit three months. Kids, listen to your Aunt Jellybean Mama – babies are more expensive and in sneakier ways than you think. No more eating out this month, no Ulta, no movies, no nothing. Want to hear the saddest, most white-trash thing ever? I desperately need underwear so I am going to put them on my Wal-Mart credit card. And then next month I am going to remember that I have The Awesome Nanny now and need to be able to pay the nice lady, so I can’t just do whatever I want, whenever I feel like it. And government cheese can be tasty.

Since it’s Thursday I am utterly brain-dead exhausted from the cumulative lack of sleep. Mondays are fine, Tuesdays I am a little slow, Wednesday evenings I’m wiped out and by this time, apparently, I am praying for death. My throat hurts and I have a splitting headache and every time Jenny eats I recalculate when I might be able to go to bed. Last night was lousy – she went down 11p-4:30a, then 5a-6a, and then decided she was wide-awake and cheerfully ready for her exciting day. I hauled her into bed with me to try to salvage a few more precious hours but she decided that kicking me in the back was my punishment for not getting up and entertaining her. My guardian angel Tata offered to keep her tomorrow night, but I feel like since I hardly spend time with her now that I’m back to work I should try to enjoy the precious weekend hours. Plus, Saturday and Sunday mornings I can usually get her to sleep in an hour or two so I do ok. AND Tata is the one who will have her for a week. I am more and more looking forward to that week of work travel, I gotta admit. It’s going to feel so great to get 4 nights of cool, soothing, delicious sleep. I hope The Beaner gives Tata a break.

Luckily my boss hasn’t pushed me too hard, but that’s going to change soon. Reading blogs is not the same as completing my Service Evaluation edits or testing the product or following up with the Managed Release Cross-Functional team, so I guess I better crack the whip before she cracks it for me. Oh, and get this – out of six possible weeks I could have traveled to Boston I am missing seeing two of my favorite coworkers (there the week after I’m there) AND Loud (there next week, even staying at the same hotel I will be in the following week).

At Least We'll Get a Good Meal

Today is an exciting day because The Nanny, The Screamer and The Beaner, and my two bestest friends and I are meeting for lunch so that everyone can meet. Since my first business trip away from Jelly is in a mere two weeks (gulp, she said, looking at her calendar) and The Nanny and Tata will be sharing the questionable excitement of taking care of her (and CPE is the backup person), I thought it might be good if, you know, they all knew who they were.

The Bean has given her mother the gift of a completely workable sleep schedule this past week, going down for the night at 10 pm-ish and sleeping til 4-5ish, then waking for one last snuggle-and-a-babba at 7:30 am. Fingers crossed it will last until, miracle of miracles, she is sleeping through the night. Which would be tomorrow if Jesus really loved me.

In less fantastic news I was working on Beaner’s passport application and citizenship application (lucky little thing is a dual Can-Am since I was born in Toronto and have lived in the US for over 10 years) and realized that MY Canadian passport had expired. Which, uh, sucks. Because it is apparently a government-designed maze of insanity to try and get a passport renewed outside of the country. Plus I only have one little birth certificate card and I can’t send that to two different places, so I have to get my paperwork done and THEN Jelly’s, which is irritating because I was told her application will take TWELVE MONTHS to process and I already had her requisite unflattering photos taken at stupid Sears Portrait Studio like they said to. *sigh* Good thing I don’t urgently need it. The kooky thing about both applications is that I require a ‘Guarantor’. For my passport it can be someone related to me, but for Jenny’s citizenship application there’s this random list of jobs that The Guarantor must have, and since my parents are both retired I’ll have to, like, ask one of their friends, I guess. SO LAME.

Of course I totally have no idea where any of the critically important birth documentation is for me (it’s only been three months for Bean so I haven’t managed to lose any of her stuff yet, since I have been able to not move for that time period). However, it was quite a little trip through history as I valiantly plundered the depths of various memorabilia-type boxes of crap. To excite and amaze you I have compiled The Top 10 Things I Found That Weren’t My Official Birth Certificate and Were Ten Zillion Times Less Important:

1. Unofficial Steve Guttenberg Fan Club membership card*
2. Receipt for my couches purchased June 2001**
3. A tourist map of the Greater Miami area, which I have never toured
4. A picture of me with The Naked Cowboy

5. My high school locker combination for the school year ’85-‘86***
6. The Utterly Outrageous Drinking Games Compendium
7. A manual for an electric juicer that I sold at a yard sale 6 years ago****
8. The title for my house
9. A Gargamel Pez
10.Various paystubs from the last 6 companies I worked for. Because, well, you never know.

*Unofficial, because I am the Founder and President. I learned that the President of the OFFICIAL SGFC is, well, Steve-O himself, and I thought that was kinda sad.
**Do you think it’s too late to return them?
***It’s stuck on the back of my school ID card. Yes, I’m wearing too much black eyeliner, have a perm, and just may be wearing a sweatshirt with aerobicizing bears on it. Oh, and two different earrings. And I think one of them is feathered.
****Because out of all the manuals I threw away, it was so important to have written instructions on how to press a cut piece of fruit onto a device.

Fridays I'm in Love

I really can’t stress enough how grateful I am for my Nanny. I can hear her, right now, downstairs, cooing to the babies in a totally un-self-conscious way. She’s always on time, and talks to them, and reads to them, and plays music, and even asked me who the people were in the People Who Love Baby softbook so that she could show Jenny all the people who love her. SO PRECIOUS.

I got some sleep last night so am less weepy today, and it’s FRIDAY!!! That means I can get naps tomorrow, although I have a pile of laundry and the house has a distinctive daycare-center type odor so I need to air the place out. It’s tax-free weekend here so I am going to do my best to not spend any money. And it’s my mum’s birthday!! Happy Birthday, Grandma! You’re the best! We miss you!

Have a nice weekend, everyone. Keep your fingers crossed for my poor sister who is ready to pop (I think her preference is that you cross your fingers that she WILL have the baby; man, I can remember that feeling, only a few months ago, where you’re thinking, ‘Ok, just COME OUT already, I’d rather deal with anything than this!’, soon to be followed by, ‘Oh, crap, go back in, I’m not ready!’). We’re ready to meet you, Dex!