At Least We'll Get a Good Meal

Today is an exciting day because The Nanny, The Screamer and The Beaner, and my two bestest friends and I are meeting for lunch so that everyone can meet. Since my first business trip away from Jelly is in a mere two weeks (gulp, she said, looking at her calendar) and The Nanny and Tata will be sharing the questionable excitement of taking care of her (and CPE is the backup person), I thought it might be good if, you know, they all knew who they were.

The Bean has given her mother the gift of a completely workable sleep schedule this past week, going down for the night at 10 pm-ish and sleeping til 4-5ish, then waking for one last snuggle-and-a-babba at 7:30 am. Fingers crossed it will last until, miracle of miracles, she is sleeping through the night. Which would be tomorrow if Jesus really loved me.

In less fantastic news I was working on Beaner’s passport application and citizenship application (lucky little thing is a dual Can-Am since I was born in Toronto and have lived in the US for over 10 years) and realized that MY Canadian passport had expired. Which, uh, sucks. Because it is apparently a government-designed maze of insanity to try and get a passport renewed outside of the country. Plus I only have one little birth certificate card and I can’t send that to two different places, so I have to get my paperwork done and THEN Jelly’s, which is irritating because I was told her application will take TWELVE MONTHS to process and I already had her requisite unflattering photos taken at stupid Sears Portrait Studio like they said to. *sigh* Good thing I don’t urgently need it. The kooky thing about both applications is that I require a ‘Guarantor’. For my passport it can be someone related to me, but for Jenny’s citizenship application there’s this random list of jobs that The Guarantor must have, and since my parents are both retired I’ll have to, like, ask one of their friends, I guess. SO LAME.

Of course I totally have no idea where any of the critically important birth documentation is for me (it’s only been three months for Bean so I haven’t managed to lose any of her stuff yet, since I have been able to not move for that time period). However, it was quite a little trip through history as I valiantly plundered the depths of various memorabilia-type boxes of crap. To excite and amaze you I have compiled The Top 10 Things I Found That Weren’t My Official Birth Certificate and Were Ten Zillion Times Less Important:

1. Unofficial Steve Guttenberg Fan Club membership card*
2. Receipt for my couches purchased June 2001**
3. A tourist map of the Greater Miami area, which I have never toured
4. A picture of me with The Naked Cowboy

5. My high school locker combination for the school year ’85-‘86***
6. The Utterly Outrageous Drinking Games Compendium
7. A manual for an electric juicer that I sold at a yard sale 6 years ago****
8. The title for my house
9. A Gargamel Pez
10.Various paystubs from the last 6 companies I worked for. Because, well, you never know.

*Unofficial, because I am the Founder and President. I learned that the President of the OFFICIAL SGFC is, well, Steve-O himself, and I thought that was kinda sad.
**Do you think it’s too late to return them?
***It’s stuck on the back of my school ID card. Yes, I’m wearing too much black eyeliner, have a perm, and just may be wearing a sweatshirt with aerobicizing bears on it. Oh, and two different earrings. And I think one of them is feathered.
****Because out of all the manuals I threw away, it was so important to have written instructions on how to press a cut piece of fruit onto a device.