A Sappy Poem for Jellybean, A Good Flight, and a New Nephew

Not beating heart,
Or pulsing veins.
Not awe-struck breath,
Or mom-numbed brains.

Not sun that rises bright each morn,
Nor moon that coolly winks good-night.
Not beach that pulls the waves to shore,
Nor breeze that lifts the birds to flight.

My heart’s desire,
My pure and true;
My one thing I can’t live without:
My you.

A week of blessed sleep, and it couldn’t come at a better time. I put a plastic bag on the changing table within Jenny’s reach over the weekend and walked away. I think that might be dumber than driving drunk. Long story short, I have guaranteed my position as Worst Mother in the Entire World and barely managed not to do anything else to put her life in danger before leaving for the Boston flight this morning. No, wait, I also had her propped on my chaise while I was doing laundry and she rolled off the pillow but luckily into the arm of the chaise. So, yes, I am fired.

So this morning, boy, was that ever a happy, light-hearted farewell (is the dripping sarcasm coming across?). I briefly considered packing a pair of her little jammies in my suitcase but realized just in time what a terrible potential festival of sobbing that would be. So this morning I put on work clothes and SOCKS for the first time in five months (seriously, no socks for like seven months, it was a new world record), did my hair (look, ma, no rat’s nest!), applied a generous coating of industrial makeup (look, ma, bad skin!), and sat down to say good bye to my sweet, innocent, unknowing, barely-three-months-old baby. It was awful. I would look at her and cry. Next time I’ll know to put the makeup on at the airport AFTER I spend 15 minutes bawling in my car in the garage. I really honestly didn’t think it would feel that way. Plus, yes, I’m tired and therefore more emotional. But I know Beaner will be just fine with The Nanny and Tata. Omg, we ran into Tata at the Wal-Mart yesterday and Jenny just lit up when she saw her, it was tres cute. She likes her Tata a lot. Ok, I can't think about being away from Jenny any more, next topic.

In no-less-emotional but way-happier news, I have a new nephew!! And my sister used my second-favorite boy’s name, Nathan. I love that name. So Jenny has a new tubby cousin (10 POUNDS!! NO DRUGS!!!! CRAZY SISTER!!!) that I can’t wait to meet. It was torture, I sat in the American Airlines terminal and they kept calling a Toronto flight, I was very tempted. But, uh, I didn’t want to upset the nice lady in Boston who signs my timecards so that Jenny can be kept in the fashion she deserves. In other happy news I thought I was given a horrible haircut on Saturday because my crazy hairdresser styled it like a bowl cut, but today when I did it IT WAS AWESOME. The stewardess said something about it. So, yay.